Author Topic: Upside to posting Death notices on BBS? (Read 2009 times)

MORAY37 · « **on:** January 23, 2008, 05:51:24 PM »

I'm kindof at a loss for this recent development... it seems every couple of days someone else feels that it is a proper environment to air their grief.

I understand the "community" feeling we have cultivated...BUT...
what exactly is the upside of this practice? A death in our "family" is one thing...people we fly with and talked to....but random people I've never met or remember typing me stuff that should be personal, and how should I be put in that situation?

Personally, this is the last place I'd post anything like that... why sully my "outlet". I mean, do I really want to be reminded every time I log on the BBS of it? Do BBS posts of condolences help you deal with it better??

I'm sorry for any offense... I just truly don't understand this practice... and I'm kinda tired of running into every other day. As a member of this community... am I alone in thinking... "quit trolling for sympathy?"

DiabloTX · « **Reply #1 on:** January 23, 2008, 05:58:00 PM »

Well, it's sort of a personal thing I guess with people here knowing they'll get the support from fellow AH'ers. I went through the samething last October when my mother passed away. For some reason I had the overwhelming urge to post about it here, to help get some of my grief out by letting a community I feel close with know how I felt. But ultimately I decided against it and even had a PM from someone I don't normally consider an AH BBS buddy. The fact is he felt the need to contact me over the loss of someone he never met made a huge impression on me. He knows who he is and I send a big ~~for doing that. It really meant a lot to me.~~

AKIron · « **Reply #2 on:** January 23, 2008, 06:23:48 PM »

I hope you never suffer a painful loss Moray. If you do, you have my permission to seek some sympathy here. We're not a bunch of ogres that we can't share our pain with friends.

eskimo2 · « **Reply #3 on:** January 23, 2008, 06:23:49 PM »

I understand that some folks prefer privacy; others prefer to be more open. Either way is fine for dealing with a personal positive (such as a birth of a child) or negative (such as the death of a loved one). I’ve known a few of the old timers on this board for about eight years, others less. That’s longer than I’ve known anyone I work with and many other folks I know in the real world. I’m not a drinker, and I don’t go out. In a way, this place is kind of like my “Cheers”. I’m not exactly Norm, but like the song goes: everybody knows my name and this where I hang out and talk about stuff, including life.

Maverick · « **Reply #4 on:** January 23, 2008, 06:30:04 PM »

Let the ones who get something out of the thread do so. Sometime there may be something you care about to post that is important to share. For some it really does have an impact and a beneficial effect to just share something or to vent if nothing else.

Jackal1 · « **Reply #5 on:** January 23, 2008, 06:30:50 PM »

Moray some of have known each other online for many years dating back to the early Air Warrior days. You might want to keep that in mind.
If threads dealing with the loss , sickness or injury of a family member or friend bothers you, pass them over. It`s that easy.

As for your trolling comment------>pot/kettle.

JB88 · « **Reply #6 on:** January 23, 2008, 06:31:00 PM »

what eskimo said.

FrodeMk3 · « **Reply #7 on:** January 23, 2008, 06:32:25 PM »

I said this in the thread that immediately followed Maj.issue's; It's the simple fact that we all share not just a hobby, but usually a love of Aviation, or history. A common denominator that tends' to draw people together. This tends' to establish the 'group' concept. You won't get everyone on board, but most tend to gravitate in. It's the main difference between flying online in the Arena's, and playing a boxed sim.

Think of it this way. You can go down to the supermarket, buy a 12-pack of beer, go home, and get drunk by yourself. Or, you can go to the bar, and drink a beer at a time, but drink with everyone else. AH is kinda like the bar...

Edit: I took too long typing this the first time! Eskimo beat me to it!

And I'm pretty sure this is in response to what happened in G/D.

I'd like to point out this: There have been more than a few deaths' in this community; There have been memorial flights, special events, etc.

Hitech has not, I believe, ever told us no, or deleted a thread, where someone died. Usually, the simple , followed by one or two kind words, Is a lot less typing than many do on these boards' complaining about the flight model, or the Arena split, or what plane we should get next, gun control, Iraq, or Dems'. vs. Repub's. The Group seems' to be an underlying concept of Human existence, that, and the need to feel part of one. So, it tends' to be a natural function.

MORAY37 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 23, 2008, 07:01:17 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Jackal1
Moray some of have known each other online for many years dating back to the early Air Warrior days. You might want to keep that in mind.
If threads dealing with the loss , sickness or injury of a family member or friend bothers you, pass them over. It`s that easy.

As for your trolling comment------>pot/kettle.

I would like to point out... I am one of those old "AW" vets. As well, if you've known someone for so long... then PM them a message "so and so just died..so I may not fly with you for a little while..." An open forum post is something I feel is not pertinent.

I just don't see an upside to these types of posts. I lost a best friend a few months ago, and I sought the comfort of people that actually know me.

I'm sure I'll get attacked like all the other non-conforming robots that have said this before have.

AKIron · « **Reply #9 on:** January 23, 2008, 07:08:50 PM »

Condolences Moray but if a "best friend" is your most painful loss then relatively speaking you don't know grief. Why not let folks share their pain and roll your eyes in silence?

AKIron · « **Reply #10 on:** January 23, 2008, 07:41:53 PM »

I apologize for that last post Moray. I'm sure that losing a best friend can be very sorrowful and that sorrow may last a lifetime. I was just a feeling a bit defensive.

eskimo2 · « **Reply #11 on:** January 23, 2008, 08:06:41 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by MORAY37

I just don't see an upside to these types of posts. I lost a best friend a few months ago, and I sought the comfort of people that actually know me.

I'm sure I'll get attacked like all the other non-conforming robots that have said this before have.

I’m not flaming you; I know many folks who keep such things less public; there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d say more people lean toward private than not. How is being more open “conforming”?

Bronk · « **Reply #12 on:** January 23, 2008, 08:11:38 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by MORAY37
I would like to point out... I am one of those old "AW" vets. As well, if you've known someone for so long... then PM them a message "so and so just died..so I may not fly with you for a little while..." An open forum post is something I feel is not pertinent.

I just don't see an upside to these types of posts. I lost a best friend a few months ago, and I sought the comfort of people that actually know me.

I'm sure I'll get attacked like all the other non-conforming robots that have said this before have.

Here's an idea ignore the post. Nothing is forcing you to read or comment on it.

Captain Virgil Hilts · « **Reply #13 on:** January 23, 2008, 08:13:41 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Bronk
Here's an idea ignore the post. Nothing is forcing you to read or comment on it.

EXACTLY

Toad · « **Reply #14 on:** January 23, 2008, 08:41:38 PM »

You'd think the just don't read it solution would be obvious to even the most casual observer.