Stupid questions at work

[Dichotomy]

If I'm in the middle of a design, have two spreadsheets open, the design program open, and autocad open, and I'm typing at 95 wpm when you walk up behind me and say 'busy?' why would you expect anything other than a sarcastic response?

What are some of the dumbest questions you get asked at work?

[Mojava]

  I worked as a bartender's a few years back in a sports bar.  We sold Hot wings and they came by the dozens.  I had a fella call me and ask for a half dozen hot wings, then ask  " how many is a half dozen"  I promptly answered six, then he asked" well how many come in a dozen". 

  Same job,  a lady called for a delivery order, told me to have our driver just step over the downed power line in her yard.  She said her neighbor told her it would be ok. 

[VonMessa]

Not an at work dumb one, but dumb nonetheless.

Pulled up at a Brewster's Ice-Cream shop drive-thru window, placed my order and the girl on the other end of the speaker promptly asked me....

"Would you like that to go?" to which I answered  "No thanks, I'll pay when I get to the next window, get it ready for me, and I'll come in to eat it." 

 

[Motherland]

Not an at work dumb one, but dumb nonetheless.

Pulled up at a Brewster's Ice-Cream shop drive-thru window, placed my order and the girl on the other end of the speaker promptly asked me....

"Would you like that to go?" to which I answered  "No thanks, I'll pay when I get to the next window, get it ready for me, and I'll come in to eat it." 

 

[Hornet33]

I stopped at a 7-11 one day on the way home from work in my uniform. Had a guy look me head to toe then ask if I was in the Coast Guard. I kinda figured the hat with US Coast Guard and the US Coast Guard tag on the front gave it away but I guess not.

Had an Ensign on my ship (Cutter Legare) call down to combat one afternoon (windowless room in the middle of the ship) and ask me what color the ship was that I was tracking on the radar    Told her to hang on while I looked through the periscope.    Called her back and said it was red?!?! Then she told me it looked blue to her but it was alright. She later asked where the periscope was located because she was working on her damage control book and couldn't find it on the ships drawings.    I told her she needed permission from the CO before I could show her because it was classified    She asked the CO at dinner in the wardroom     CO gave me a  the next time he saw me.

[DiabloTX]

I stopped at a 7-11 one day on the way home from work in my uniform. Had a guy look me head to toe then ask if I was in the Coast Guard. I kinda figured the hat with US Coast Guard and the US Coast Guard tag on the front gave it away but I guess not.

Had an Ensign on my ship (Cutter Legare) call down to combat one afternoon (windowless room in the middle of the ship) and ask me what color the ship was that I was tracking on the radar    Told her to hang on while I looked through the periscope.    Called her back and said it was red?!?! Then she told me it looked blue to her but it was alright. She later asked where the periscope was located because she was working on her damage control book and couldn't find it on the ships drawings.    I told her she needed permission from the CO before I could show her because it was classified    She asked the CO at dinner in the wardroom     CO gave me a  the next time he saw me.

Freakin' classic.  I have about a million of those as well from my active duty Navy time.  We were one of the first ships to get women officers and the guys didn't pull any punches when they came aboard.  Booters, too.

[texasmom]

I stopped at a 7-11 one day on the way home from work in my uniform. Had a guy look me head to toe then ask if I was in the Coast Guard. I kinda figured the hat with US Coast Guard and the US Coast Guard tag on the front gave it away but I guess not.

Had an Ensign on my ship (Cutter Legare) call down to combat one afternoon (windowless room in the middle of the ship) and ask me what color the ship was that I was tracking on the radar    Told her to hang on while I looked through the periscope.    Called her back and said it was red?!?! Then she told me it looked blue to her but it was alright. She later asked where the periscope was located because she was working on her damage control book and couldn't find it on the ships drawings.    I told her she needed permission from the CO before I could show her because it was classified    She asked the CO at dinner in the wardroom     CO gave me a  the next time he saw me.

 

Once had this knucklehead pilot come through for a tour of our tower.  Dingiest gal I ever met.  TxDad saw her not too long ago at one of the meetings or conferences he was attending ~ still about as blonde as a brunette can get.

[Vulcan]

Blonde co-worked was looking for conference venews on the net yesterday, she turns around and asks me 'wheres boulcott street?'. I just stared at her (our office is on boulcott street). I s**t you not.

[Reschke]

I work at a pipe manufacturing facility and as the head sales and technical guy onsite I had one of our sales reps ask me...."So we sell pipe for pumping concrete right?" My response was "No s***!?!?! I was wondering why we might use abrasive resistant heat treat pipe for pumping water."

[Maverick]

While on light duty one time I got asked to sit on oral boards for wanna be cop applicants. I was looking at one application and saw something that didn't look right. I went to records and confirmed the idiot had an outstanding warrant for his arrest. I then called his name and took him out the back door and cuffed him. After he was told he was going to jail he got in the patrol car and asked me with a straight face, "Since I'm missing the oral board does this mean I can't be a Police Officer?"
 

[Nefarious]

My whole Job is Stupid Questions.

But my ongoing favorite is beginning to be a classic, We have a new sales Rep and our production office is always seeking to reach her on her cell phone. We'll call, leave a detailed message only to have her call back 15 to 20 minutes later asking if someone at the office called her.

Or even better, people call into the office, I answer the phone...

"Homes and Land, this is Will"

"Is this Mike?"

"No, this is Will"

Makes you want to say, "Are you deaf!" "Does my name even remotely sound like Mike"

[Shaky]

What are some of the dumbest questions you get asked at work?

Is he dead?