Oh man...

I'm sorry to hear that. Don't try to read anything into it; babies are just risky business. God or fate are not against you. It seems like most couples lose at least one; some lose many. I'm sure that doesn't make it hurt any less but understand that you are not alone. I'm sorry to hear that you wife has health risks. I couldn't count how many people I know who've had a rough time.
My wife also was high risk but we didn't realize what the problem was until the third birth/C-section. Her rare condition would have killed her and the baby 100 years ago, probably even 50 years ago. Modern medicine saved them both but her uterus was destroyed in the process.
My prayers are with you all. Life gets better...