Investment Tips for 2009

[SD67]

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros. and acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice.  For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations later this year:

Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become:   Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3M will merge with Goodyear and become:   MMMGood.

Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa .

FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:   FedUP.

Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:   PouponPants.

And finally . . .
Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

[Chalenge]

Mergers? If you really want to make a good investment look at Berkshire and purchase the constituent stocks on a one-by-one basis as you can afford them and dont look at the value again until you retire. If you dont like one of the companies dont buy it and use some thought on each of them as you go.

That and defense contractors are pretty solid deals. 

[Maverick]

SD67, 

[Baitman]

 

[Chalenge]

And yet I found it poor humor...

[ghi]

I would better invest in a farm away from big cities, somewhere in  Nebraska,Iowa, Dakota, Montana: some wind/solar power source ,few cows  and some horses to work the land if we run out of oil.

[avionix]

and some horses to work the land if we run out of oil.

We may all have to go back to that sort of transportation.  Course, don't know how my landlord would handle a horse in the backyard.  Well, at least we wouldn't be sending our money overseas.

[Odee]

SD67, you insights and humor are amazing!
 
Thank you very much for sharing on the forums
 

This might be a no-no, but I have it from a reliable source at Freddie Mac that a couple years ago, Uncle Sam was pressuring them and other financial institutions to push through those "creative loans", by threatening to with hold VA and FHA grants to them if they did not comply.

Like I said it might be a no-no, but it's what I hear from those in the know.