As this has been the topic of many threads, including one i started not to long ago i feel i am mildly well versed on this topic.
I have come to the logical conclusion that if you fire at an enemy plane either on the merge or during a turn or at any time from a forward facing position and hit them you will be called a HO.
But on the other side of that coin, if you don't take the shot when presented with it then there is over 90% chance that your opponent will take it and will happily call it a deflection shot or forward quarter shot.
my advice, your best chance of survival is to either HO when you merge in any fashion or don't allow any form of nose to nose approach. this includes while in the tight turns of E and stall fighting.
the latter tactic, if you watch them, is the one i believe used by most of the higher skilled fighter jockeys in the MA.
they bank and jig and turn on the approach to prevent any form of head on or true "Merge" with the enemy. they do not look for the jousting pass where they buzz by each other wing tip inches off of wing tip.
its funny to watch but if you pay attention to LYNX you will notice that he keeps an offset of 4 to 600 yards distance from his enemy when "merging".
Shawk tends to keep so much distance you think he is attacking someone else altogether. (although not always.....he is a kinda closet HO!!!!!)
if you engage in any nose on nose maneuver and You kill them, your a HO. if they kill you, you call them a HO.
The applied definition of this maneuver will change with every fight, so it just boils down to maneuvering right from the start to either take the shot or completely prevent any kind of jousting merge from taking place.
But in the end it is the maneuvering of both pilots with the intent of aligning their noses head on that creates the only environment that a HO can take place. If you turn into his line of fire and fail to fire first then you have brought about your own demise.
Save the chivalry and jousting for the DA or for 1V1 engagements with an opponent that you know the identity of in advance and feel safe that he/she will refrain from taking the open shot.
but no matter what you decide to do or how you decide to do it, do it without complaint. Play the game have fun and leave the whining for those of adonia's calibre.
just my perspective
FLOTSOM