have often envied men their ability to pee anywhere. Perhaps it is classic noodle envy. I mean men just have to expose a small section of themselves, point it in any direction and simply turn their back for privacy. They can continue conversation and look over their shoulder and it barely interups the flow of any activity. With women it's a huge process. They have to organise privacy, position, clothing, shoes and have something available with which to dab our popsicle or live with damp undies. The actual squat puts us in a position of vulnerability, exposing aspects of ourselves we have been socialised to keep under wraps. We could be pulled backwards or simply pushed over. Also, having to maintain a certain closeness to the ground we are at risk of being bitten by some creature. I loved the car trips into the countryside as a child but would refuse to pee along the side of the road between the two open passenger side doors, even with my mother holding a towel across between the two doors and my father going for a walk to give me privacy. I have been yelled at to pee, cojolled and promised good things soon, if I could just pee.
I think in my teenage years and into adulthood, it is my inability to maintain my image as cool or slightly sophisticated that has been my main issue when it comes to squatting to pee. I remember as a teenager, probably about fifteen, I was fishing with my boyfriend Darryl (whom I later married) and my half brother David who was my fathers son to his first wife. I had talked them into letting me come along. They had been keen for some male bonding and I just didn't want to be left out. They had grudgingly let me come but I was dressed inappropriately with a tie died wrap around dress and heavy white clogs with a flower on the top. It was about 1977 and such was the fashion. I had long fine blonde hair down my back and was enjoying my new femininity and sexuality. I had been a pudgy, let's face it, fat, kid and had lost it all due to getting a life and discovering cigarettes, dope,boys and alcohol (not too much, but a bit). My half brother still lived in Wagga Wagga with his mother and sisters and my father had moved us to Murwillumbah, after a short period in in a tiny coastal town called Urunga. So, David had not seen me in a long time, and I was keen for him to think I was cool.
They were showing their disdain of my presence by refusing to bait my hook or cast my line out. So, rather than show ineptitude, I just watched and chatted. I thought it wouldn't be long before they got bored, because it was an extremely boring activity and it couldn't just be me who thought so. Time dragged on and I needed to pee. I thought this would be a good opportunity to get them to go home. They refused to give into my desire to leave and told me to take a pee in the bushes. I went through my speech about how I couldn't do that, there was no where private, they would hear me, thats yucky and received no sympathy at all. “Your the one that just had to come.” David stated, “So you can just stay here till we're ready to go. If you need to pee, then pee. I'm not worried one way or the other.” He grinned wickedly at Darryl. “That's right hey Darryl?” Darryl was usually so easy to manage and turn to my advantage, but this half brother of mine that I hardly knew was a definate bad influence. “Yep” he replied and to my horror was grinning along. Boy, was he going to get it later.
I was finally pushed to bursting point and knew it had to be done. I walked down along the deserted river bank and looked back from behind some foliage to see if I could be seen or heard. I lifted my dress and pulled my panties to the side and squatted. I began to pee. I could feel the urine splashing on my feet and onto my cool white leather cloggs I couldn't stop by this time but attempted to spread my feet further apart. Unbeknown to me this caused the back of my dress to hit the sandy loam and the two long ties of my dress as well. With relief I stood up to discover my dress wet and smelly at the back, and the ties fell back to the side dripping urine. I went back to the boys pouting and sullen. I told them my plight as if it was all their fault and sat without speaking on the dirty ground in my wet dress. Darryl could no longer maintain a non caring attitude and pushed David to go home. Wow, sooo coool.
