21. Wow

[DREDIOCK]

Today my son turns 21. Wow!
21 years went by too fast. Much too fast. I still smack him upside the head now and then for not listening to me. I specifically told him to stay 12. He was perfect at 12.
Not that he's not great (in my eyes) now. But 12 was perfect. Old enough to have an intellegent conversation with. Yet still young enough to enjoy that wide eyed "wow" effect when I took him or showed him something new or cool.
Yea, 12 was perfect. Damn kid didnt listen worth a damn. He grew up on me. No fair! I mean c'mon. It was just the other day when I would walk with you with my hand resting on top of your head to make sure you were  next to me as we walked into the movie theater. And just a few days before that when I remember a specific moment, our eyes locking into one another as I looked at you in your crib when you were a baby.
I mean that was just a few days ago. Wasnt it?? No fair!  Somebody went and hit the fast forward button on me! There are still things I wanted to do and places to go.
The line from "The Godfather" comes to mind. "There just wasnt enough time.Wasnt enough time"

Now those numbers are reversed. That 12 you were supposed to stay, has become 21.
As MY father used to say "Jesus H. Christ" Where the hell did the time go?

Oh well. At least I can send you out for beer now.

Happy Birthday TJ

[Toof]

Give him about 5 more years. I knew everything from 21-25, then wised up. I hang out more with my dad now than I ever did as a kid. (I'm 26, FWIW). Not sure it's the same in every case, but I did a turnaround from "wanting to be on my own, left alone, and not told what to do" to realizing that at 26, my father is not going to tell me what to do or not do. He might have some advice, but I gained so much respect from him growing up, and showed so much disrespect in the 21-24ish years, that now I realize I was a complete oscarhat and am trying my best to remedy the situation. Once he gets to the age of -wanting- to spend "father and son" time (he may already be there, I personally, at 21, wasn't) It'll almost be like he's 12 again, only he might just be bigger than you by then I realize I know nothing about you or your son, but that's how 21+ worked out for me.

And Happy Birthday TJ!

[nirvana]

One of the guys up here turned 21 today as well, his family flew all the way from New York to usher in the new era of legal drinking.  Really awesome party even without alcohol.  Happy birthday to your son, Dred.

[gpwurzel]

Happy Birthday TJ


Wurzel

[Rich46yo]

Time flys dont it?

One day, it seems, your holding a baby in your hands, then blink an eye, and your launching them into the world. It goes by to fast, I think.

No greater joy in this life then raising your children. Congrats for your son.

[RipChord929]

Something I've noticed, is that, "Once you get over the hill, you start picking up speed."  Forgot who said that long ago, but its true... Its a commom joke at the
vintage motorcycle races... Even have a T/shirt that says so, over a pic of a Bultaco
360Pursang... COOL!!!

No kidding, when I passed a certain age, the months and years seem to pass much faster than before... Now, I know thats not true in the real physical world.. But the perception is definately real!!!  Another thing kinda odd, I didn't actually notice when
my perception of time changed... One day years ago, I looked at the calender, and mentioned to my wife, "Where the hell did the last 6months go?"...

WTG Dred!!! You are out from under.... And there are GOOD times comin... Just think, soon you'll be a grandad... Then you can get the enjoyment from your grandkids, without the misery of having to deal with them every day!!! LOL!!!


  RC

[DREDIOCK]

Toof ,

Yea I know. I thought I new more then those older them me at that age too And I remind him that the older he gets. The smarter Im going to be also.
Other then the typical, He's not a bad kid though. Never really has been. Not that I ever really gave him that choice LOL
Right now he's about running around with his friends. Which is normal. Im not too worried about him now legally being able to drink as I've always let him have some if he wanted it when he was younger and pretty much just let him have what he wanted since he was 16. So the legal drinking age is a mere formality And its more like he can now just buy it himself rather then have someone else get it.
I never wanted it to be that "forbidden fruit" that now that he can legally have it he can go apechit with it as they please because nobody can tell then "no" anymore. Its been my observation that this is the mistake many parents make. And the conclusion I've drawn is that while they think they have protected their kids from it. they've in many cases opened themselves up for more anguish later on.

I decided to demystify it. And try to teach moderation instead. He's come home tanked and puked only 1 time that I remember. Didnt say a word till him to the next day when I said "Heard you in the bathroom last night. Drinkings fun isnt it. Just think. when you turn 21 you can legally have that much fun"
Dont remember him ever comming home that drunk again.

Rich46yo ,

Tell me about it. Too damn fast. gotta admit I was getting a bit teary eyed thinking of him as he grew up when I wrote the original post.
when I wrote about our eyes connecting when he was in the crib. That was a real moment. While I was the ultimate in proud when he was born and loved him immediately. When our eyes met that moment. That, was our "bonding" moment. If you dont have kids. You wont understand it till you do. But that moment is easily identifiable as a specific moment in time.

Children, I've discovered are both your greatest sources of joy,and aggravation. sometimes within moments of each other. LOL

RipChord929 ,
I've noticed the same thing. the older I get. The faster time seems to move. Particularly here in the northeast where everything moves faster to begin with.
I've been tempted to move down south just to slow things down a bit....ok ALOT.

Not quite out from under yet. I still have a daughter who turns 13 this October. Shesh another frikken speed trap. just a few hours ago it seems I was upsetting her mother by sitting there watching TV with her letting her gnaw on a twizzler as she was just starting to teeth. "What if she chokes on it?" my wife yelled "How can she choke on it. when she has no teeth to bite it off?" Moms are always so paranoid about the absurd.  thank god for dads or we'd still be living in trees eating berries out of fear the other animals would get us on the ground LOL

Now she's about to become a teenager (YIKES!!!) And a gorgeous one at that. (DOUBLE YIKES!! Time to buy a gun)
And she is (ahem) starting to develop into a woman. So now its like living with two wives. fortunately my wife is taking the brunt of the abuse. Emotional mood swings and everythign else that comes with being a typical woman.
One day a couple of weeks ago I forget the subject. but her and my wife were arguing about something (I learned a long time ago to not get involved with chick fights) And after words my wife was complaining "What the hell is with her lately?" My son overhearing this says "What did you expect? she's a woman."
she shot him a dirty look to which I laughed. then she shot me a dirty look and I just said  "He's right. Now you know what i've been dealing with for the last 25+ years. Welcome to my world."

Yea... This gonna be fun. LMAO

I know about the grand kids. Told my son when he brought home one of the few girls he's ever brought home. I dont mind the thought of being a grandpa. Just do us all a favor and wait till your out of college first.

Like my mother always says. the nice thign about having grandkids. is you can give em back when your done playing with them 

[Angus]

Give him about 5 more years. I knew everything from 21-25, then wised up. I hang out more with my dad now than I ever did as a kid. (I'm 26, FWIW). Not sure it's the same in every case, but I did a turnaround from "wanting to be on my own, left alone, and not told what to do" to realizing that at 26, my father is not going to tell me what to do or not do. He might have some advice, but I gained so much respect from him growing up, and showed so much disrespect in the 21-24ish years, that now I realize I was a complete oscarhat and am trying my best to remedy the situation. Once he gets to the age of -wanting- to spend "father and son" time (he may already be there, I personally, at 21, wasn't) It'll almost be like he's 12 again, only he might just be bigger than you by then I realize I know nothing about you or your son, but that's how 21+ worked out for me.

And Happy Birthday TJ!

Had my best time ever with my dad from the age of 26. Lost him too soon though.

[TOMCAT21]

Happy BDAY TJ..    

[Maverick]

Congrats Dad on a good job raising him. I'm familiar with the time shift phenomenon too. Oh and the Grand Kids are WAY more fun than their parents were. A fun thing to do is wind them up give them tons of sweets than hand them back telling the parent, remember when you did "x". Pay back!

As for your daughter, you Do have the rules to dating a daughter don't you? If not I have them and can send them to ya.

[Rich46yo]

I bought my first video cam when my boy was born. I always kept it charged, tape in, and on the shelf for those "spontaneous moments". Thats how I got his first steps on video. I got all his B-days, ball games, X-mas's when he would run out to see if Santa came All of it, his entire life. Along the way I taught myself computers, digital video, NLE editing, and ended up doing video on a Professional basis.

But it all started with my kid. And I got his entire life on DVD in a Library now. The watching of which helped ease the suffering of his Grand Mas long fight against the cancer that finally took her from us.

My only regret was not having more children. At least a daughter too.