How to fail a test with dignity

[klingan]

I think I'd have to give a similar answer to the ocean liner question.


The ship is exothermic, not only is there no heat available to perform work (in this case moving the boat), but it is venting more heat than it takes in.  Theoretically, given time it's drive mechanism would reach absolute zero and lose it's molecular bonds, and take the rest of the ship with it, through thermal transfer.  (If we ignore the quantum energy limit, and place the ship in a vacuum, etc.  Physicists like to do everything in a vacuum to avoid the real world getting in the way of their theories)  If the ship is somehow managing to transfer some of the heat into motion, the effect will be even greater, making the formula more along the lines of Tt=(Ti=20'c(293 K)+Tm=Ev(Ce)) As best I can type it with this keyboard, and 30 years removed from the classroom   (Basically add his calculation to the amount of energy needed to move the boat, with a constant to allow for the energy loss in the conversion of heat to velocity to arrive at the total heat loss per hour)

And here I thought I'd never use any of that stuff .....................

 

[Mickey1992]

I hope the "I.D. Number" isn't his SS#.  That would be bad.

[Reaper90]

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ack-ack

omg ACK ACK, el Nino....      

I'm wiping away tears I'm laughing so hard.

Thank you for that!

[Shamus]

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I hope the "I.D. Number" isn't his SS#.  That would be bad.

It's not.

shamus

[Soulyss]

P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C

This may have to end up as sig material.

[Motherland]

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I hope the "I.D. Number" isn't his SS#.  That would be bad.

Most schools use student identification numbers assigned by the school.

[USRanger]

  good stuff.

[oso831]

OMG Ack-Ack I think I spotted reading that today, is this from Al Gore's class he taught at Columbia?
I did especially like the pro - noob answer, that kid got robbed, the teacher probably doesn't even own a television.

[Sabre]

I once took a test in an advanced electrical circuits class in undergrad school.  I knew how to start the problem, and I new what the answer was supposed to look like, but I couldn't for the life of me remember the key steps in between.  So, I wrote the first steps I remembered, then wrote the answer.  In between I drew a large box and wrote inside of it, "Miracle occurs here!"  I got 5 out of 10 points on the problem.

[allaire]

That's like the the guy my father had to explain why his record player stopped working.  He went through the whole deal of the real reason why it died and the guy had a on his face.  My pop finally just asked him if it smoked just before it quit working, the guy responded with a yes.  Pops looked at him and said, "well that's the problem you let the magic smoke out, which is needed to make it work."  Worst part is the guy understood that. 

[branch37]

i wonder what kind of smoke he tried to put into the thing 

[oakranger]

OMG, funny stuff.  Ahhh, it is scary if one of these people will be responsible driving a multi-billion dollar CV.  

What is really scary is this.  There was a poll a while back that asked employers if they would hire anybody who cheated through out college course.  A large number of these employers said yes, because that individual is striding to get a head of the competition.  Them employers that said yes are those that work on stock trades.......... great job guys for the near economic crash last year.   

[Yenny]

lol Gava I love you man! that stuff is hilarious !

[SunBat]

LOL.  The check to Verizon is from xkcd.  I think xkcd is my favorite website, absolute brilliance.  

That check is one of my all-time favorties.

"What now ....." is such a nice touch as well.

[Anaxogoras]

This is also entertaining:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change-of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand d proportionately as souls are added. 

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over..

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'