Some funny stories that i think we could all relate to

[Spikes]

Me: Thank you for calling 24 hour Walgreens, Tom speaking, how may I help you?
Customer: What time do you close?
Me: ....We're open 24 hours.
Customer: Oh, because I need to get some prescriptions filled, will you be open at midnight?
Me:.....yes.

LOL.

[Tac]

While working as a Cruise Consultant (aka travel agent that sells only cruises) I had a customer from California purchase a very nice cabin on a Hawaiian cruise which, as part of my job he was told in explicit detail that HE was responsible for the airfare to hawaii and back as the ship departed and returned to Hawaii.

So we get done through the process and everything is set and booked I ask him if he has any questions.

'Yeah, how much is the toll do you know?'

'There are no tolls that i'm aware of..which do you refer to?'

'The road toll on the bridge you know'.

'(im confused at this point) umm.. which bridge would that be sir?'

'the one that goes to hawaii im not taking a plane i'll drive there'

*minute long silence*. My brain had imploded...and here I am wondering if this is a genuine question or a joke...

For the next 15 minutes I'm at the phone with this guy that had just purchased a last minute, non-refundable tickets worth a few thousand bucks trying to educate him that NO there is NO bridge between California and Hawaii (and the man insisting there was and getting pissed off at me)... I even ask him very nicely to look at an atlas to see the distance involved and why there could be no such bridge...

...and it ends up as a supervisor call because I was being 'ignorant and rude'.

Took my supervisor 20 minutes to get him off the phone, no refund possible. To the day I left that company my supervisor would always look at me and ask me if this was another hawaii bridge call every time i had a sup. call  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I was in High School science class we were doing the ol' lets take a frog apart lab and yes, everyone was squeamish and the girls protesting about touching the thing..

the teacher had brought latex gloves for us and was telling the class that the gloves allowed us to touch the frogs without really touching them with our skin. One of the girls..the local popular airhead... was refusing because she insisted that wasnt true and that she'd still be 'touching' the frogs.

One of the guys in the back shouted at her : ' (name) the gloves work like a condom'

' oh ok then' and she sat down.


I will never forget the look on that lab teacher's face that day. 

[1Boner]

I was working at a woodstove shop years ago that also sold wood pellets and coal in bags.

Actually had a very nasty tempered old woman come up to me and asked me how old our coal was!

She said that she only wanted to purchase the freshest coal available!

It takes all kinds.

[SPKmes]

I remember installing a heated towel rail in an established house once. I had cut holes in her wall and ceiling to run the cable when she comes to see what I was doing due to the the noise I was making...(drilling through nogs)and she starts to freak out...It took a good 15mins to get her to realise that you need a cable that carries power to the outlet. She really thought you could just put the outlet in the wall and it would work.

[Shuffler]

Snicker..... good stories.

[EskimoJoe]

Snicker..... good stories.

Oh yeah. Definitely  

[minke]

I work in a diy store in the uk -

customer- can I ask a question about these disposable bbq's?
me- Sure
customer- Do they come with the sausages and bacon included?...........


and


(jan 5th)
customer- can I return this artificial xmas tree?
me- why? is it faulty?
customer- No I didnt like the colour
me- err its supposed to be green,so i'm gonna have to say no to that one.



and


customer- I'd like to return this toilet seat
me- Has it been fitted?
customer- Yes
me- Has it been used?
customer- Yes
me- then i'm afraid not, we can't accept it back for hygeine reasons
customer- How will I know if its comfortable if I cant use it? Its the last time I shop here
me- OK, goodbye



customer- Do you have any Durex paint?
me- you mean Dulux?
customer- omg I'm sorry (runs away in embarrassment)



customer- I'm looking for a 3m dildo rail?
me- You mean dado rail?
customer yeah,thats the one..............

[LYNX]

Got another one

I worked at a car dealer that only sold cars on credit... to people that shouldn't have credit.   You stitch em up to a 5 yr deal at anything from 30% to 47% interest rate.  If the customer comes in with all the right documents they drive the car away with them.  Bills, wage slips, letters from employers, bank statements, motor insurance, deposit or part exchange car and a VALID DRIVERS LICENCE.

Had this 19 year old lad from Manchester (100 miles away) with his mate turn up.  He had every piece of documentation except for the drivers licence.  He left it at home he said.  So I phone DVLA (DMV) on our standard dealer line and they come back the lad is 6 months into an 18 month drivers ban.... suprise suprise. 

So I've spent at least 1 to 2 hours organising this lad to get all his docs together plus another 30 minutes with him in the show room. I get the lad a coffee and say we'll be right back to him.   Just short of 2 hours later he and his mate are right pissed off.  I takes em into a private office and explain the situation about fraudulent applications for credit and how I thought it better to waste their time than call the cops.   

[Flipperk]

While working as a Cruise Consultant (aka travel agent that sells only cruises) I had a customer from California purchase a very nice cabin on a Hawaiian cruise which, as part of my job he was told in explicit detail that HE was responsible for the airfare to hawaii and back as the ship departed and returned to Hawaii.

So we get done through the process and everything is set and booked I ask him if he has any questions.

'Yeah, how much is the toll do you know?'

'There are no tolls that i'm aware of..which do you refer to?'

'The road toll on the bridge you know'.

'(im confused at this point) umm.. which bridge would that be sir?'

'the one that goes to hawaii im not taking a plane i'll drive there'

*minute long silence*. My brain had imploded...and here I am wondering if this is a genuine question or a joke...

For the next 15 minutes I'm at the phone with this guy that had just purchased a last minute, non-refundable tickets worth a few thousand bucks trying to educate him that NO there is NO bridge between California and Hawaii (and the man insisting there was and getting pissed off at me)... I even ask him very nicely to look at an atlas to see the distance involved and why there could be no such bridge...

...and it ends up as a supervisor call because I was being 'ignorant and rude'.

Took my supervisor 20 minutes to get him off the phone, no refund possible. To the day I left that company my supervisor would always look at me and ask me if this was another hawaii bridge call every time i had a sup. call  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I was in High School science class we were doing the ol' lets take a frog apart lab and yes, everyone was squeamish and the girls protesting about touching the thing..

the teacher had brought latex gloves for us and was telling the class that the gloves allowed us to touch the frogs without really touching them with our skin. One of the girls..the local popular airhead... was refusing because she insisted that wasnt true and that she'd still be 'touching' the frogs.

One of the guys in the back shouted at her : ' (name) the gloves work like a condom'

' oh ok then' and she sat down.


I will never forget the look on that lab teacher's face that day. 

 

[Flipperk]

A couple of years ago I was a cashier at Kroger, and of course the policy on purchasing alcohol is that you must be over 21, if you look under 40 you must provide ID, and if you are purchasing with a group (this excludes famlies) everyone in the group must provide proof of ID (this is so because if we sell it to a guy over 21 and he goes drinking with his underage friends, i get into trouble because I had knowledge of)

So anyways, it was a very busy day I was just promoted to supervisor two weeks before but I was still working the registers from time to time. This group of teens come up and they lay 4-12 packs on the belt. I ring them up and I ask for their ID("s") they all look at each other as if they lost their balls, (I knew at this point none were probably not over the age of 17 or 18) One pulls out his ID and he just turned 21 three days ago, I say alright..i look at the other guys and I ask for theirs. They tell me that they don't need to show their IDs because they aren't buying the beer. I told them, "you walked in with him, you carried the beer, and your checking out with the guy with the beer, you must show ID" They then said that they will just leave and wait in the car. I said, "No, thats not how it works...unless you all show IDs your not getting any". (At this point i must say, i felt like a bad-a). They then proceed to tell me that they never heard of this law and that I was making this up, so they ask for a manager. (I just got promoted remember  ) I say, "I am the manager on duty right now, how may i help you  "

They get furious, and then i said "Hey look, just show your IDs and we can all go home"...they start cussing and whatnot...so then i said... "Fine" (I walk away and go to the phone at the front of the store and i pick up the phone and I pretended to call the cops ) I then return to the register and I told them "The cops are on their way, they could probably explain the law a little better than I can  "

The teens then high-tailed it out of the store 

[Serenity]

A couple of years ago I was a cashier at Kroger, and of course the policy on purchasing alcohol is that you must be over 21, if you look under 40 you must provide ID, and if you are purchasing with a group (this excludes famlies) everyone in the group must provide proof of ID (this is so because if we sell it to a guy over 21 and he goes drinking with his underage friends, i get into trouble because I had knowledge of)

So anyways, it was a very busy day I was just promoted to supervisor two weeks before but I was still working the registers from time to time. This group of teens come up and they lay 4-12 packs on the belt. I ring them up and I ask for their ID("s") they all look at each other as if they lost their balls, (I knew at this point none were probably not over the age of 17 or 18) One pulls out his ID and he just turned 21 three days ago, I say alright..i look at the other guys and I ask for theirs. They tell me that they don't need to show their IDs because they aren't buying the beer. I told them, "you walked in with him, you carried the beer, and your checking out with the guy with the beer, you must show ID" They then said that they will just leave and wait in the car. I said, "No, thats not how it works...unless you all show IDs your not getting any". (At this point i must say, i felt like a bad-a). They then proceed to tell me that they never heard of this law and that I was making this up, so they ask for a manager. (I just got promoted remember  ) I say, "I am the manager on duty right now, how may i help you  "

They get furious, and then i said "Hey look, just show your IDs and we can all go home"...they start cussing and whatnot...so then i said... "Fine" (I walk away and go to the phone at the front of the store and i pick up the phone and I pretended to call the cops ) I then return to the register and I told them "The cops are on their way, they could probably explain the law a little better than I can  "

The teens then high-tailed it out of the store 

WIN.

[Flipperk]

Got another one

I worked at a car dealer that only sold cars on credit... to people that shouldn't have credit.   You stitch em up to a 5 yr deal at anything from 30% to 47% interest rate.  If the customer comes in with all the right documents they drive the car away with them.  Bills, wage slips, letters from employers, bank statements, motor insurance, deposit or part exchange car and a VALID DRIVERS LICENCE.

Had this 19 year old lad from Manchester (100 miles away) with his mate turn up.  He had every piece of documentation except for the drivers licence.  He left it at home he said.  So I phone DVLA (DMV) on our standard dealer line and they come back the lad is 6 months into an 18 month drivers ban.... suprise suprise. 

So I've spent at least 1 to 2 hours organising this lad to get all his docs together plus another 30 minutes with him in the show room. I get the lad a coffee and say we'll be right back to him.   Just short of 2 hours later he and his mate are right pissed off.  I takes em into a private office and explain the situation about fraudulent applications for credit and how I thought it better to waste their time than call the cops.   

 

[RightF00T]

Worked at a KFC in high-school.  Walking baby-dispenser(with 5 kids in tow) walks up to the counter and shortly asks for

1) Onion Rings
2) Milk
3) Hamburger
4) Coffee


I looked at her like:



Then told her we didn't have any of that because we were KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN.  She rolls her eyes and says the sign outside should be clearer.

 

[deSelys]

Tac & Mink   

[MadHatter]

When I was stationed in Japan we had policy of sending the new guy out for non-existent items. Things like a 1d-10t cable and 20 meters of flight line. Well, one day we got "smart" and hooked an antenna up to a scopemeter, gave the new airmen a map of the base and the scopemeter and told him to go find all the sources of stray RF (radio frequencies) on base. About 20 minutes later I get a call from a buddy over at the Medivac hangar askin what the hell this kid was up too, I explained it to him, then his NCO tells me to come out there. I thought I was in deep, when I get there the NCO says "Watch this". He proceeds to chew the kid out about proper safety precautions when dealing with stray RF, hands him a set of welding gloves and a cold weather mask then tells him to keep searching. I go back to the shop, explain what happen, and we all fall out laughing. 30 minutes later we get a call from the base GCC asking what the hell this airman was up too. Apparently some rather important messages were going out on radio and our idiot was standing outside measuring each spike, marking it down on a piece of paper.