....from a chain email I got.............
European Security Levels.
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
"A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in
1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized
from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued
a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the
Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have
been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France
are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent
terrorist attack that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French
who are on a heightened level of alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of
their allies, just in case.
