No more sheep jokes about kiwi's

[Vulcan]

Or we'll mention the 'mice' http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/americas/3593855/Bestiality-farm-run-by-drug-smuggler

[phatzo]

 

[USRanger]

[crazyivan]

Alright a sheep, a preist, and a kiwi walk into a bar.

[-tronski-]

When an Australian tourist coach passed through a small country town in NZ one of the passengers noticed a sheep tied to a lamp post on the corner in the main street. "What's that?" she said.
"Oh that," said the guide, "that's the Recreation Centre"

An Aussie and a Kiwi sheep farmer are flying a light plane over a sheep farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.
The Aussie says "Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!"
The Kiwi cries "What about the sheep ?!?"
The Aussie says "Bugger the sheep !!!!"
The Kiwi pauses and asks hopefully "Do you think we have time?"

 Tronsky

[phatzo]

A rather dense Kiwi sheep farmer called the vet in to see why he wasn't getting any lambs. The vet looks the sheep and the ram over and says " You'll have to try artificial insemination.". Not wanting to look stupid and ask the vet what it meant he went home and asked his wife. I think thats where you have to do it youself says the wife. this got the Kiwi farmer thinking and next morning he loaded the ewes into the back of his landrover took them down the back paddock and serviced them.
  The next morning he awoke before dawn to check if any of the ewes were lying on their side ( a sign of being pregnant ) and none of them where. Sooooo he goes and gets the landrover loads all the ewes in the back, drives down the back paddock and services them all again. When the Kiwi farmer awakes the next morning he asks his wife to have a look out the window and see if any of the ewes where lying on their side. No, she replies, but they are all in the back of the landrover and one of them is blasting the horn.

[FTJR]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bugger

[Angus]

Being a former sheep-farmer, I shall slip you an evil inside information 
Artificial insemination is indeed used in order to get a good breed without moving the rams between various parts of the country. A straw is ... smaller, lighter and you can have a lot of them.
But you have to know when the ewes are hot. They do not show that so easily, - except to the ram. A typical ram will be able to handle about 40 sheep with approx 90% success. There is but one intercourse, and then it is all over, - just a few seconds.
So, to find out which ewes are hot (a typical average of 1/14th of the group, since they are hot for a day or so, and their cycle is 14 days), one takes a ram for a walk around the heard with a rope tied on the horns. Leave the ram to his look-around, and when an ewe approaches and waggles the tail, that is one to catch. Make an ID on the ewe, tie up the ram, catch the ewe and put into another box, and repeat untill the search is complete.
Poor ram gets nothing that day. However, he'll normally have the rest, since just a few ewes with the super-stock will produce a good stocked ram for the next year
Evil isn't it.....

[Ack-Ack]

ack-ack

[redman555]

 

[Vulcan]

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ack-ack

definitely a yank farmer too

FYI ack ack typical kiwi farmers look like this:

[Heater]

Please do not tell HiTech about this.......
It will drive him nuts

[Dragon]

definitely a yank farmer too

FYI ack ack typical kiwi farmers look like this:

(Image removed from quote.)

So the colored tags on the boots.......red goes on right and green, well, I guess it goes on the other foot?????