Funny truths

[AAJagerX]

I got this in an email today and figured I'd share.  Got a good laugh out of it.



1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of MsWord and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night - more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time

[ZetaNine]

THAT is some funny poo right there.

[4deck]

 

[Penguin]

#31, Oh yeah!

-Penguin

[AirFlyer]

Had a couple of these hit right home with me; #2, 10, 21, 22, and 31 lol.

[gyrene81]

Funny stuff...   

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time

That was me this morning...hit the snooze button several times still asleep and didn't realize it...then scrambled to get ready for work and just when I thought I was ready to leave the house...spent 30 minutes wandering around the house trying to find my wallet!!!        

[Clone155]

#2, #11, #15, #25, #26, #29, and #30 all made me lol because I can relate 

[MachFly]

me: 2, 3, 7, 10, 11 12, 13, 15, 21, 22, 23, 25, 30, 31


snooze function, the worst option ever created, it makes alarm clocks useless. I wake up not because of the sound but because my hand gets tired after turning it off every minute for the past hour.

[Serenity]

me: 2, 3, 7, 10, 11 12, 13, 15, 21, 22, 23, 25, 30, 31


snooze function, the worst option ever created, it makes alarm clocks useless. I wake up not because of the sound but because my hand gets tired after turning it off every minute for the past hour.

lol. Forget "snooze" I will actually move across the room, and go through the entire process of turning off all the alarms in my sleep.

[thndregg]

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

This one I ponder on occasion.

[Mustaine]

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

and

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

and most importantly

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.