Author Topic: Abbot and Costello buy a computer  (Read 342 times)

Offline AWwrgwy

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Abbot and Costello buy a computer
« on: July 02, 2010, 10:22:55 PM »
Stolen off the intardnet:

Quote
If Bud  Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their  infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have  turned out something like  this:



COSTELLO CALLS  TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store. Can I help  you?

COSTELLO : Thanks. I’m setting up an  office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a  computer.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO :  No, the name’s Lou  .

ABBOTT : Your  computer?

COSTELLO : I don’t own a  computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT :  Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou  ..

ABBOTT : What about  Windows?

COSTELLO : Why? Will it get  stuffy in here?

ABBOTT  : Do you want a computer with  Windows?

COSTELLO : I don’t know. What  will I see when I look at   the
windows?

ABBOTT :  Wallpaper.

COSTELLO : Never mind the  windows. I need a computer and  software.

ABBOTT :  Software for Windows?

COSTELLO : No. On  the computer! I need something I can use to  write proposals, track expenses and run my  business. What do you have?

ABBOTT :  Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office.  Can you recommend  anything?

ABBOTT : I  just did.

COSTELLO : You just did  what?

ABBOTT : Recommend  something.

COSTELLO : You recommended  something?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO  : For my  office?

ABBOTT :  Yes.

COSTELLO : OK, what did you  recommend for my office?

ABBOTT :  Office.

COSTELLO : Yes, for my  office!

ABBOTT : I recommend Office with  Windows.

COSTELLO : I already have an  office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m  sitting at my computer and I want to type a  proposal.  What do I  need?

ABBOTT :   Word.

COSTELLO : What  word?

ABBOTT : Word in  Office.

COSTELLO : The only word in  office is office.

ABBOTT : The Word in  Office for Windows.

COSTELLO : Which word  in office for  windows?

ABBOTT : The  Word you get when you click the blue  ’W’.

COSTELLO : I’m going to click your  blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight  answers. What about financial bookkeeping?  You  have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO :  That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT :  Money.

COSTELLO : I need money to track  my money?

ABBOTT : It comes bundled with  your computer.

COSTELLO : What’s bundled  with my  computer?

ABBOTT :  Money.

COSTELLO : Money comes with my  computer?

ABBOTT : Yes. No extra  charge.

COSTELLO : I get a bundle of  money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT  : One copy.

COSTELLO : Isn’t it illegal  to copy money?

ABBOTT : Microsoft  gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO  : They can give you a license to copy  money?



ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN  IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT :  Super Duper computer store. Can I help  you?

COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer  off?


ABBOTT  : Click on  ’START’………….



wrongway
71 (Eagle) Squadron
"THAT"S PAINT!!"

"If nothing else works, a total pig-headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through."
- General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay

Offline gyrene81

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Re: Abbot and Costello buy a computer
« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2010, 10:47:14 PM »
Oldy but goodie. Nice find Wrongway.  :aok
jarhed  
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day...
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett

Offline 4deck

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Re: Abbot and Costello buy a computer
« Reply #2 on: July 03, 2010, 12:19:23 AM »
Thats very kewl. Printed that out.
Forgot who said this while trying to take a base, but the quote goes like this. "I cant help you with ack, Im not in attack mode" This is with only 2 ack up in the town while troops were there, waiting. The rest of the town was down.

Offline RTHolmes

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Re: Abbot and Costello buy a computer
« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2010, 06:34:58 AM »
 :lol
71 (Eagle) Squadron

What most of us want to do is simply shoot stuff and look good doing it - Chilli