Pretty good stuff :D

[Vudu15]

http://www.businessballs.com/airtrafficcontrollersfunnyquotes.htm

my two favs

Lufhansa Pilot to co-pilot, forgetting that the frequency was open: "We used to come up the Thames, and turn over here for the docks...."
Voice on frequency: "ACHTUNG SPITFEUR"


Novice female military controller to US bomber leaving radar coverage, forgetting the correct terminology... "You are entering my dark area"
USB: "WHOOPEE!"

[AAJagerX]

 

[Selino631]

 

[Krupinski]

ACHTUNG! SPITFUER! 

[Pigslilspaz]

A huge C-5 cargo plane was sitting near where a small plane was waiting to take off. The private pilot got a little nervous because the military plane was closer than normal, and asked the tower to find out the intentions of the C-5. Before the tower could reply, a voice came over the radio as the C-5's nose cargo doors opened, saying, "I'm going to eat you."

Cannot stop laughing at this one 

[Saxman]

I still love this story:

One day, high above Arizona, we were monitoring the radio traffic of all the mortal airplanes below us. First, a Cessna pilot asked the air traffic controllers to check his ground speed. ‘Ninety knots,’ ATC replied. A twin Bonanza soon made the same request. ‘One-twenty on the ground,’ was the reply. To our surprise, a navy F-18 came over the radio with a ground speed check. I knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he had a ground speed indicator in his cockpit, but he wanted to let all the bug-smashers in the valley know what real speed was. ‘Dusty 52, we show you at 620 on the ground,’ ATC responded.

The situation was too ripe. I heard the click of Walter’s mike button in the rear seat. In his most innocent voice, Walter startled the controller by asking for a ground speed check from 81,000 feet, clearly above controlled airspace. In a cool, professional voice, the controller replied, ‘Aspen 20, I show you at 1,982 knots on the ground.’ We did not hear another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast.

[caldera]

I still love this story:

That never gets old. 

[MrRiplEy[H]]

What's striking is that most of these stories involve extreme carelessness or stupidity which could lead into fatalities or at least getting fired.

Some of the stories are like 'yea my balls are bigger than yours and I'm gonna prove it by endangering all 200 passengers onboard'. I HOPE they're not real.

[Vudu15]

must not know many pilots then... I'm sure some of em are fake but a number I'm willing to bet are quite true. mostly the in cockpit transmitted over tower freq. by accident.

[Tupac]

The one with the DC9 and Cherokee 180 had me rolling.

Also look at the funny insurance claims.

""The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."