Sounds like we need to move to Europe.. 
Dear Sir,
Thank you for your application to Europe PLC.
Unfortunately we are not seeking any additional staff at this time therefore you have been unsuccessful in your application.
We will however keep your details on record (in the circular filing cabinet) should any vacancies or fit girls become available.
Thanks again for your interest and we wish you success in your future hedonistic endeavours.
Yours faithfully,
Silvio Berlusconi (secretary for European debauchery).