Explaining MPH to a blonde

[uptown]

Is she back yet?

She got back and didn't say a word. Just handed me a scratch-off lottery ticket. It said get any 3 like amounts and win that amount. So I get to scratching the ticket and end up with three $10,000 symbols!!!!! I'm sitting there trying to focus and thinking to myself, "I must not be seeing this right." So I break out my glasses and sure enough, it's showing I won $10,000!
I get up, run to the kitchen and say "We won $10,000!!!!!!!"  She looks at the ticket, grins real big and shows me the backside. THIS TICKET FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. Thanks for being a good sport. 

[MarineUS]

Those shows depress me  how are we going to rebuild after 12/21?

With the intelligent people who are left over.