The package says, "Congratulations on your purchase of the Myslosoft 4000 Operating System, please open to start your adventure!"
<open package>
(first sheet)
<B>LICENSE AGREEMENT</B>
<I>By opening the package you are now bound to this license agreement. Please note, you do not own the software, you are only licensed to use the software.
As we are the only ones that can actually own the software, we reserve the right to do anything we want. That includes and is not limited to the following:</I>
1) We can copy files and peruse your computer system as long as we want and we do not have to tell you about it. Do not worry though, we onlyuse this information internally.
2) You cannot remove our browser software or your computer disk drive will be immediately reformatted. We know what is best, trust us.
3) If you try to add another browser to the computer, it will crash as often as we can make it do so. This is just to help you understand we cannot allow software not in our direct control to be used on a daily basis by you. We are only looking our for you, trust us.
4) We will make this product obsolete as fast as we can, and you will have to purchase an upgrade. We have to ensure a steady flow of income so we can bring you other fine products, trust us.
4a) The upgrade may not be compatible with this software. This is up to us to decide. If we see third party software actually trying to subvert our own application software sales, we have to take action to protect you, trust us.
(end license)
<B>WARRANTY and SUPPORT INFORMATION</B>
If you install any third party software, it will violate your warranty. We do not support any third party software, no matter how much they claim we do. We feel it is our obligation to protec you from those compromising softwrae companies that want to take control of your computer systems applications, trust us.
If you have any problems with our product, please call your parents as they will be better able to help you than we will. And if your parents are not available, please find someone else who might care about your problems. We feel it is always more comforting to talk to those who are close to you about your problems, trust us.
If you decide to call us, please note, it costs $10.00/minute for us to help you, and we will take as long as possible to help you. Some problems just take time to listen to, trust us.
<B>HARDWARE REQUIREMENTS</B>
<I> You can not afford the hardware it would take to make this run really well, but here are some tips:</I>
Processor: 1Tz processor if you want to boot
Memory: 1000GB if you want to run one of our applications
Hard Disk: 1TB if you really want to install the operating system
Video Card: Paradise VGA adapter; choosing any other video card will violate all warranties and support
Other peripherals: As a general note, we do not care if anything else works. If it does, fine; if not, don't call us.
<B>INSTALLATION</B>
1) Put the floppy disk in the floppy drive.
2) Turn on your computer
3) At the prompt, type <B>Setup</B> and press <B><ENTER></B>
Feed the 221 CD-Roms as prompted. Other than that, you are on your own.
If an error occurs during installation, you will need to start over.
If you manage to get through all the CD's, then you are ready to experience the most fascinating thing that will ever occur in your entire life.
Please note, you will need to reinstall the operating system from time-to-time as it is designed to self-destruct each month to help prevent those who would actually make copies of this software for illegal distribution.
Even though we feel we have done everything we can to make this a very unattractive thing to do, there are those that just cannot help themselves and want to spread misery to all they encounter, trust us.
Some of our copyright countermeasures include:
1) The software will become corrupt over time. This is a design feature we are very proud of.
2) Random lockups and general protection traps never really happen, we just added these additional features to insure no one would want to violate copyrights.
3) Delay loops to make sure the software does not run too fast for you to be able to keep up. We also add more code than required to accomplish any given task, and despite our efforts, it still works sometimes.
To help ensure no competition would be available, we make massive changes to everything in the operating system so no one could ever duplicate it.
Giving people a choice has, historically, always lead to trouble. We will continue to strive to ensure you have no choice.
Why do we do all these things for you? Because we can. Trust us.
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Roy "Skuzzy" Neese
President, AppLink Corp.
http://www.applink.netskuzzy@applink.net
