Unfortunately, I wasn't there so all I have to go on is screenshots, after action reports from squadies and the info posted here.
Stampf, by the screen shots ELD66 has posted on this thread you brought your Jabo group to at least 1k distance from the bombers, do you seriously think that any escort force would have let you do this without interception of some level? As Dantoo posted: "I was in the Tempests above the Lancs when the "190s" call came in. We moved straight away to get into the slot between the two groups and immediately came down on the 190s when one of the Lancs was attacked (by a 109)." It seems that your 190s are what initially called down the Tempest escort, not JG54's 109's. Granted Dantoo also states: "As soon as I saw the 190s were F8s and carrying bombs with a clear intention to avoid contact I called a knock it off and moved straight back to the Lancs." but either his call to knock off happened after your two pilots got shot down or some of Dantoo's pilots didn't heed the call; either way your attempt to lay the loss of your two pilots entirely at JG54's feet is flimsy at best.
Sure, JG54 could have not attacked the lanc's as they flew threw thier formation, and could have instead flown a course to avoid the bombers altogether. Unfortunately you still came close enough to the bombers to call down the escort to have a look which would have likely resulted in the same outcome of your two lost pilots. As it happened, JG54 also made a judgement call to follow JG11's flight path in order to minimize the seperation between the two squads (a judgement call that most squads would also probably make) and this caused the pass through the bombers. JG11 was flight lead, and should bear some responsability for the flight path chosen. You could have chosen to fly a path that would have avoided the lanc's just as easily as JG54 could have.
A few different decisions made by a number of different people could have resulted in a different and more satisfying outcome for both JG54 and JG11; but labeling a squad as idiots and requesting that they shoot themselves next time is uncalled for and over the top. how long do you expect any squads will want to work with JG11 if this kind of tantrum is what they can expect from you when you don't like how the night's events turned out? You ask JG54 to look within; perhaps you should do so as well.