Author Topic: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"  (Read 459 times)

Offline earl1937

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flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« on: December 23, 2014, 10:21:25 AM »
 :airplane: Oh what a year it has been! Been "hit" with a lot of things in my life, but until this year, never a "flying saucer"! About 6 weeks ago, after breaking up with a woman, I had in my procession a "cup" saucer, which belong to her! Being the gentleman I am and all, I felt compelled to return it in good faith to its rightful owner!
I approached the back door, knocked and she came forth and I opened the screen door and handed her the "saucer". After about 30 seconds of her "pleasing" remarks to me, I decided it was time to beat a hasty retreat!
 I had taken about 3 or 4 steps, when I heard the screen door make a racket and I turned to look over my shoulder to see what was happening and "bang", a saucer hit me in the back and fell harmlessly to the ground. So I reached down to return it to the rightful owner and as I tossed it under handed back to her, it slipped out of my hand and opps, it broke out a kitchen window!
After contracting a man to replace the window, I went by on the appointed day for his installation of the window and he was almost finished when I arrived. She was standing in the kitchen and saw me as I rounded the corner of the house, stepped outside, with another saucer in her hand, slung it at me and I ducked, and then I heard a "yip". The saucer had hit her little ankle biter, I guess right between the eyes, because he lay there like a sack of potatoes!
Quickly she came out and grabbed the little mutt up and said, "help him"!
Instantly I had a flash back to better times! We were sitting on her couch, necking and so forth and this little mutt is chewing on my ankles, so I raised both feet up into the air, but now things were getting awkward, but didn't want to lose the "lip lock" I had, so repositioned my self on my knees on the couch and had my target in sight to resume the lip lock and the darn thing bite me on the elbow!!
"Give him some mouth to mouth", she screamed! So, being the hero I am, I grabbed the dog, asked her, where do we stand? She said everything is fine, so I lower my mouth to about two inches from the doggie mouth, blew into it best I could and danged if it didn't wake up and bite me right on the end of the nose.
No way lady, it aren't worth it, handed her the dog and beat a hasty retreat. But, alas, now incoming flack, pine cones, sticks and I don't know what else and I thought, haven't seen this much ack since last time I flew in Aces High!!
« Last Edit: December 23, 2014, 10:23:19 AM by earl1937 »
Blue Skies and wind at my back and wish that for all!!!

Offline earl1937

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Re: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2014, 10:22:33 AM »
:airplane: Oh what a year it has been! Been "hit" with a lot of things in my life, but until this year, never a "flying saucer"! About 6 weeks ago, after breaking up with a woman, I had in my procession a "cup" saucer, which belong to her! Being the gentleman I am and all, I felt compelled to return it in good faith to its rightful owner!
I approached the back door, knocked and she came forth and I opened the screen door and handed her the "saucer". After about 30 seconds of her "pleasing" remarks to me, I decided it was time to beat a hasty retreat!
 I had taken about 3 or 4 steps, when I heard the screen door make a racket and I turned to look over my shoulder to see what was happening and "bang", a saucer hit me in the back and fell harmlessly to the ground. So I reached down to return it to the rightful owner and as I tossed it under handed back to her, it slipped out of my hand and opps, it broke out a kitchen window!
After contracting a man to replace the window, I went by on the appointed day for his installation of the window and he was almost finished when I arrived. She was standing in the kitchen and saw me as I rounded the corner of the house, stepped outside, with another saucer in her hand, slung it at me and I ducked, and the I heard a "yip". The saucer had hit her little ankle biter, I guess right between the eyes, because he lay there like a sack of potatoes!
Quickly she came out and grabbed the little mutt up and said, "help him"!
Instantly I had a flash back to better times! We were sitting on her couch, necking and so forth and this little mutt is chewing on my ankles, so I raised both feet up into the air, but now things were getting awkward, but didn't want to lose the "lip lock" I had, so repositioned my self on my knees on the couch and had my target in sight to resume the lip lock and the darn thing bite me on the elbow!!
"Give him some mouth to mouth", she screamed! So, being the hero I am, I grabbed the dog, asked her, where do we stand? She said everything is fine, so I lower my mouth to about two inches from the doggie mouth, blew into it best I could and danged if it didn't wake up and bite me right on the end of the nose.
No way lady, it aren't worth it, handed her the dog and beat a hasty retreat. But, alas, now incoming flack, pine cones, sticks and I don't know what else and I thought, haven't seen this much ack since last time I flew in Aces High!!
Blue Skies and wind at my back and wish that for all!!!

Offline Slate

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Re: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2014, 11:35:59 AM »
   Well I have been the target of an angry Ex before also having a heavy ashtray flung my way.

    You have to remember, "No good deed goes unrewarded".  Better to have been Loved and bruised than never bruised at all.  :D
I always wanted to fight an impossible battle against incredible odds.

Offline earl1937

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Re: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2014, 12:57:16 PM »
   Well I have been the target of an angry Ex before also having a heavy ashtray flung my way.

    You have to remember, "No good deed goes unrewarded".  Better to have been Loved and bruised than never bruised at all.  :D
:airplane: Good point! My problem is I am still "hung" up over her and wish we could get back together!
Blue Skies and wind at my back and wish that for all!!!

Offline Oldman731

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Re: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2014, 01:38:06 PM »
:airplane: Good point! My problem is I am still "hung" up over her and wish we could get back together!


...maybe the red dress suggestion was a bad idea...?

- oldman

Offline Arlo

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Re: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2014, 02:15:01 PM »
:airplane: Good point! My problem is I am still "hung" up over her and wish we could get back together!

Wait. I missed something. I thought you two were tying the knot?  :huh

Erg. I'm too old for this.

P.s. Good luck.

Offline earl1937

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Re: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2014, 02:39:50 PM »
Wait. I missed something. I thought you two were tying the knot?  :huh

Erg. I'm too old for this.

P.s. Good luck.
:airplane: I thought to until her mother got herself involoved....hadn't been the same since....what can you do, can't fight city hall!!
Blue Skies and wind at my back and wish that for all!!!

Offline FLS

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Re: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2014, 02:53:55 PM »
I told you to get a dog.  :lol

Hang in there buddy. Have a nice holiday.  :cheers:

Offline craz07

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Re: flying Saucers and "Ankle Biters"
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2014, 03:07:29 PM »
earl you need to stop smoking weed and reading 50 shades of grey you creep
Don't let others drag you down with their own hatred and fear