UPDATE December 1, 2016 ~~ The card arrived a few hours ago now.
It turns out that the EVGA gtx 1070 08G-P4-6276-KR cards offered by Amazon at $409 must have been cards from before 1 November. Before I opened the box, I found the serial number and checked against the EVGA site. That saved me completely opening the box and finding out that the pads were missing. That's the bad news.
I doubted that an RMA through Amazon was going to accomplish the Post Nov. 1st factory upgrade and decided to go straight to EVGA.
From unpacking the Amazon box, finding the serial number and registering at EVGA, probably took half an hour to 1 hour.
The good news is that once I registered, I found the techsupport 888 number and Kayvon (thankfully he spelled it because my old ears heard Kalan) was able to help me through the process. Yeah, I've seen the videos of doing the upgrade, and it'd make sense if I already had the card for half a year, but for a new card still in an unopened box, nada. I hate it, but I'd rather run the cross RMA route.
For anyone wondering how this supposedly works: I'm step One of Three now. I have an EVGA Advanced RMA number and I'm waiting for the "Approval." Apparently (Step 2?) they verify my purchase invoice and then ask for my credit card number in case I fail to return the card I received. Sounds reasonable to me. Then they send a new card. Kayvon guessed delivery might take another 3 to 5 days before I have the replacement card. I expect to swap the cards (retail boxes) and return this one in the box the new one comes in.
Wish me luck. I'll keep you posted.