I wish you well, this forum reminds of this sometimes
"Many people listen with the intent to respond, not to understand." Stephen R. Covey
The best example is this priceless story by John C Maxwell:
A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground.
He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other hunter starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
He frantically blurts out to the operator, “My friend Bubba is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, trying to calm him down says, “Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!
The hunter comes back on the line and says, “OK, now what?”