The beginning of the end

[Mister Fork]

Columbo, the example you display walking thru this is truly inspirational. 

Ditto.

You are an inspiration Colmbo. 

[colmbo]

Columbo, the example you display walking thru this is truly inspirational. 

You know guys I don't feel inspirational.  I feel mostly confused.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act.  I was a paratrooper so the "never quit" attitude was built in which does help as well as 20 years as a street cop needing a will to survive.  But that was all just potential threats, this is right here, right now.  Just yesterday the Doc found another lymph node tumor (most likely not treatable by radiation since I've already been zapped almost everywhere) and I might have a mass on the right mastoid -- bone cancer is know to be painful.  I did start a new round of chemo therapy yesterday but even the Doc has little hope that it will be effective.  I have this niggling feeling that I'm getting close to the end...I hope my 6th sense sucks.  On a plus side it seems as if some of the cognitive issues I was having has eased so perhaps some of the radiation brain damage has eased.

So what I'm doing is getting things tied up to minimize work for Bobbi.  We spend all our time together.  We meet with friends as much as possible, just have fun while we can.  Today it's the Alaska State Fair...home of the mini-donut (I am a retired cop  ), elephant ear and funnel cake!!

I have to admit there is some curiosity about what "death" is like.  Will I sense it?  Feel it?  Depending on what the brain cancer does I might not be aware of anything.  If at all possible I'll try to post here. 

If you get sick keep and close eye on your medical team.  Never assume they are keeping an eye on your condition, labs, images, etc.  I suggest marrying a nurse with 40+ years of experience.  Very handy having her knowledge and experience available...and she is a hot nurse....I'm sure you've all seen those videos. 

[Puma44]

  I was a paratrooper so the "never quit" attitude was built in which does help as well as 20 years as a street cop needing a will to survive. 

That’s the example you set; never give up, never quit, survive.

How’s your relationship with God?  Saved?

 

[JimmyD3]

You know guys I don't feel inspirational.  I feel mostly confused.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act.  I was a paratrooper so the "never quit" attitude was built in which does help as well as 20 years as a street cop needing a will to survive.  But that was all just potential threats, this is right here, right now.  Just yesterday the Doc found another lymph node tumor (most likely not treatable by radiation since I've already been zapped almost everywhere) and I might have a mass on the right mastoid -- bone cancer is know to be painful.  I did start a new round of chemo therapy yesterday but even the Doc has little hope that it will be effective.  I have this niggling feeling that I'm getting close to the end...I hope my 6th sense sucks.  On a plus side it seems as if some of the cognitive issues I was having has eased so perhaps some of the radiation brain damage has eased.

So what I'm doing is getting things tied up to minimize work for Bobbi.  We spend all our time together.  We meet with friends as much as possible, just have fun while we can. Today it's the Alaska State Fair...home of the mini-donut (I am a retired cop  ), elephant ear and funnel cake!!

I have to admit there is some curiosity about what "death" is like.  Will I sense it?  Feel it?  Depending on what the brain cancer does I might not be aware of anything.  If at all possible I'll try to post here. 

If you get sick keep and close eye on your medical team.  Never assume they are keeping an eye on your condition, labs, images, etc.  I suggest marrying a nurse with 40+ years of experience.  Very handy having her knowledge and experience available...and she is a hot nurse....I'm sure you've all seen those videos. 

Yeah we used to go a lot when we lived in Anchorage, MY son's mother-in-law has a booth there every year, Odie's Trinkets or something like that. Wish  you well, praying for you and the family. Puma44's questions about salvation is also VERY important, hope to see you in Glory when I arrive. 

[1stpar3]

  And dont expect too many donuts...my Grandfather probably ate em all Just get the SIM pit ready for when we catch back up with you

[Oldman731]

You know guys I don't feel inspirational.  I feel mostly confused.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act. 

Dude.  Really.  You have earned the right to act any way you want to.  Your hot wife, your friends here...we all get that.  Time to relax.  Just keep us posted, it matters a lot to the rest of us.

- oldman

[Vraciu]

Dude.  Really.  You have earned the right to act any way you want to.  Your hot wife, your friends here...we all get that.  Time to relax.  Just keep us posted, it matters a lot to the rest of us.

- oldman

I agree.

I would be scared, resigned, hopeful, unconcerned....all of it—occassionally at the same time.

I think your approach is the right one.  Enjoy every moment, stay positive.  If this is a farewell tour stretch it out awhile.  Ten years or so sounds good!      

[Puma44]

Like Oldman said, it’s your time.  Use it for you.

[colmbo]

  Enjoy every moment, stay positive.

The Medallion Corporation is an aviation safety group here in Alaska, and perhaps lower 48 as well, that operates simulators and promote safe operating practices, etc.  I've always wanted to try one of the sims so since they are demoing at the Alaska State Fair I popped in to fly the Super Cub, full motion sim.   If you ever flew Microsoft Flight sim back in the early 90s you'll remember how crappy the control response was.  I was appalled at how poorly this thing flew....I actually crashed on the first take off!!!  The control delay was huge, the 2nd go I pinned by stick arm to my leg and used only the finger tips, same with the rudder.  Got it into the air, absolutely no feel for flaps or speed changes, and started working around the pattern.  The young cutie girl running the sim warned me off of the "only 750' strip" and when I wasn't too worried, I used to work the 182 out of 300' she asked if it had a tailwheel. :0  Managed to get around the pattern and back on the ground and stopped.  I really have to wonder how much effective training they can do in a sim that models flight that poorly ----  Air Warrior, Warbirds or Aces High does a far better better job. 

[Zimme83]

You can of course never replace the real feeling of flying with a sim but there are a lot of stuff you can practice, Instrument flying for ex. I have flown a lot of IFR in fsx and it did helped when i pushed my luck a bit too far in the C150...

[Vraciu]

The Medallion Corporation is an aviation safety group here in Alaska, and perhaps lower 48 as well, that operates simulators and promote safe operating practices, etc.  I've always wanted to try one of the sims so since they are demoing at the Alaska State Fair I popped in to fly the Super Cub, full motion sim.   If you ever flew Microsoft Flight sim back in the early 90s you'll remember how crappy the control response was.  I was appalled at how poorly this thing flew....I actually crashed on the first take off!!!  The control delay was huge, the 2nd go I pinned by stick arm to my leg and used only the finger tips, same with the rudder.  Got it into the air, absolutely no feel for flaps or speed changes, and started working around the pattern.  The young cutie girl running the sim warned me off of the "only 750' strip" and when I wasn't too worried, I used to work the 182 out of 300' she asked if it had a tailwheel. :0  Managed to get around the pattern and back on the ground and stopped.  I really have to wonder how much effective training they can do in a sim that models flight that poorly ----  Air Warrior, Warbirds or Aces High does a far better better job.

Brings back memories of the PCATD and Frasca instrument training devices.   

[Golfer]

I meant what I said man.  I’m glad to know you even if it’s just in this little online enclave of commonality with others.

[Patches1]

Dale,

Your postings regarding your condition are inspirational. I hope I can face cancer with the same degree of fight as you. Tomorrow, my CT Scan will determine the extent of my condition, and during the process, your courage will be on my mind and in my heart.

Dan "patches" Bruce

[colmbo]

Dale,

Tomorrow, my CT Scan will determine the extent of my condition
Dan "patches" Bruce

Dan,

There is nothing quite like sweating out the results of your latest CT, MRI or PET.  My wife and I dread them yet at the same time look forward to them so that we have information about the progress of the disease which helps with decision making regarding treatment.  I hope you get a negative scan, a scan that doesn't show disease. 

I'm having some cardiac issues that we aren't getting resolved yet.  I'm hoping my Heisenberg hat comes in the mail in the morning before my chemo appointment.  I might try to intimidate them a bit.  If you're a Breaking Bad fan you'll understand.

Stay positive.  Never stop fighting.  Make your medical team answer your questions.  Make them give you all the info regarding your disease, testing, treatment and options for your disease.  They are your team, they work for you.  If you want come here to vent.  Bobbi and I do a lot of venting.

Dale

[1stpar3]

VENTING IS GOOD! My God, MAN...You have NO IDEA as to how much you have affected me, with your poise and candor about this. I have Multiple Sclerosis and it hinders my actions a bit...BUT it SEEMS you are handling things OK. Makes me want to try things I think I can NO LONGER DO.   OR.. at least "Spit Out The Pity dick..per Dead Pool LOL) and at least try