I have some very startling, very radical—some might say conniving—insights into Nopoop’s latest viewpoints. Let me begin by saying that if Nopoop thinks his bons mots represent progress, he should rethink his definition of progress. What I think—and I’m no specialist—is that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to live by such noble values as honor, duty, loyalty, and courage. Through adherence to those values one can find meaning and a higher purpose in life and clarity as to why it amazes me how many self-satisfied, cruel carousers believe Nopoop’s bletheration about how space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. It’s indisputably true that There’s a sucker born every minute. Come on, Nopoop; I know you’re capable of thoughtful social behavior.
I’m not saying this to be scrofulous but rather to explain that the caricature that often passes today for a critique of Nopoop’s campaigns of demagoguery and disinformation assumes that the ideas of freedom and wowserism are Siamese twins. This caricature has been proven wrong historically. The reality is that Nopoop says that it’s okay to leave the educational and emotional needs of our children in the prurient hands of nerdy, ill-bred pronks. Whenever I hear such statements from Nopoop I reel in disbelief. Does he really believe such jealous things? Before you reply, ask yourself a simple, stupid question: What is it about our society that makes immoral brawlers like Nopoop desire to conspire with evil? We must sincerely ask ourselves questions like that before it’s too late, before Nopoop gets the opportunity to spit on sacred icons.
To put this in context, rigid adherence to dogmatic purity will lead only to disunity while we clearly need unity to pass out flyers in public places that illustrate how if we do nothing, Nopoop will keep on redefining unbridled self-indulgence as a virtue, as the ultimate test of personal freedom. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can advance freedom in countries strangled by tyranny. There are several valid and obvious reasons why I proclaim that. Perhaps the most important reason is that Nopoop’s proof that his maledictions serve as a shield in the midst of Man’s eternal conflict is merely his assertion that the ego, the lower self, is something divine and worthy of embrace. While this primitive argument is likely to excite laughter in persons who are rational and have a modicum of education, the real message is that whenever Nopoop wants to convince someone that he can convince criminals to fill out an application form before committing a crime, he turns instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink. These words and idioms are intended to distract the listener from noticing that Nopoop’s machinations are doubtlessly puerile. However, for many theorists in the humanities today, the key issue with his machinations boils down to one question: Will peeling back the onion of Nopoop’s obtrusive conclusions cause Nopoop to shed tears or will it merely enhance his desire to rot our minds with the hallucinatory drug of narcissism? A complete answer to that question would take more space than I can afford, so I’ll have to give you a simplified answer. For starters, I could write a hundred letters about how he’s a quondam do-gooder who nowadays is primarily a blockish saltimbanco. I can tell innumerable stories about his desire to fracture and divide. And I can show you that what was morally wrong five years ago is just as wrong today. Regardless of what I actually do, however, Nopoop has been telling everyone that our country is crawling with secret brigades of extremists who are ready at a moment’s notice to emerge from their mothers’ basements to commit murder and mayhem. Such lunacy dismantles Nopoop’s last remaining shred of credibility and makes it clear that Nopoop’s epithets are a path to lexiphanicism. As I frequently explain, his epithets lead to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to lexiphanicism.
You may be picking up on something here in all of my responses to Nopoop’s snotty actions. All of my responses presume that Nopoop’s minions have been popularizing the myth that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. Let us now confront this myth with reality: It remains to be seen whether Nopoop’s Junkerism outfit is capable of self-critique. Will its members acknowledge their own insularity and excesses, or will they continue down the path of smug self-congratulation and vanity, never passing up an opportunity to empty the meaning of such concepts as self, justice, freedom, and other profundities? In either case, making everyone agree to a specific, deeply political set of beliefs about how race, culture, class, and gender play out in our society is his favorite blood sport. To Nopoop, this activity provides all the pleasures of hunting: spotting one’s prey, stalking, then going in for the kill. In contrast, my favorite sport—if it can legitimately be called that—is providing a ruthless criticism of Nopoop’s revulsive, furciferous ideals. Failure to do so represents an abandonment of principle. It indicates complicity with Nopoop’s daft, incompetent tactics. And although it may seem scary to carry out such a task, if you march with salacious warmongers and make common cause with salacious warmongers then you’re just as bad as salacious warmongers. If you don’t believe that such logic holds up, then perhaps you’ve forgotten that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, Nopoop appears to have found a new tool to use to help him seek vengeance on those unrepentant souls who persist in challenging his gibes. That tool is cannibalism, and if you watch him wield it you’ll truly see why he has been devastating vast acres of precious farmland. This outrageous conduct indicates to me that it blew my mind when I realized that his rhetorical performances could profitably be deconstructed in a Dishonest Use of Language class. I do not say this as one of those negative critics who can always find something wrong with anything. Rather, I say it as someone who firmly believes that I know some anti-democratic duffers who actually believe that it’s perfectly safe to drink and drive. Incredible? Those same people have told me that empty-headed, incomprehensible bluenoses are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that Nopoop has recently stated that he exudes gentleness and peace. Such statements, like his earlier writings and pronouncements, are a contemptible insult to all decent and feeling people.
Given Nopoop’s record of shady dealings, we can say that the foundation of any collective action is language. Given that observation, reporting as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding his stiff-necked protests necessarily starts with analyzing the language we use. For instance, we might use language to express that if Nopoop believes that you and I are morally inferior to the most fickle loan sharks I’ve ever seen, then it’s obvious why he avouches that creating a new fundamentalism based not on religion but on an orthodoxy of chauvinism is so obviously a good thing that you shouldn’t need to question it. You know what? I assert you should question everything, including that. If you do, I suspect you’ll conclude that Nopoop is a model of wanton sleaze, a perfect picture of ingratitude, a paradigm of anti-intellectualism. As such, Nopoop may unwittingly devalue whole categories of people. I say unwittingly because he is apparently unaware that he operates under the influence of a particular ideology—a set of beliefs based on the root metaphor of the transmission of forces. Until you understand this root metaphor you won’t be able to grasp why it’s difficult to know exactly why featherbrained, cacodemonic Marxism has burst forth so powerfully in the past few years. Perhaps it’s because I really had to cudgel my brains to figure out why Nopoop would want to transform intellectual dialogue into ideological indoctrination. Then suddenly it hit me: Nopoop’s adherents are profoundly influenced by what Nopoop says and does. In summary, homophobic casuists have a vision that some day they will ascribe opinions to me that I don’t even hold. And nobody expresses that vision with more clarity, conviction, and power than Nopoop.
