They just released the dedicated server patch v1.41
It fixes the XML crash in 1.40 but not the "2 is down" bollocks.
For lag free multiplayer you
really need a dedicated server. The squad I fight with has 2, 1 on a T1 and the other on a T3. There's also plans for a 100 player capable server, which we'll be renting out for special events and league matches. However, if BIS get around to enabling 'join in progress' other ideas may surface.....like a persistant world.
Anyway, check out:
http://www.therumble.com