just a joke

[capt. apathy]

ok, so this guy is out for a drive with the wife and he gets pulled over.

cop: "do you know how fast you where going?"
man:"I'm not sure, but i'm sure i wasn't speeding."
the wife leans over and says "he was doing 80"
so the cop writes a ticket
cop: "oh and another thing, you didn't signal back at the intersection"
man:"no, i'm sure i signaled"
wife:"he didn't signal"
so the cop shakes his head and writes another ticket, he gives the ticket to the man, and as he turns to leave he asks "does she always jam you up like that?"
wife:"only when he's drinking"

[grizz]

LOL  



A young man was kept waiting for his date so the father invites him in and offers him a seat on the couch. As he sits down, an old hound saunters into the room and plops himself down at the young mans feet. The father returns to his chair,  picks up his newspaper and starts to read.
A few nervous minutes pass, and the young man realizes he has to release some gas to relax a little. He squirms a bit, raises a cheek and lets out a small quiet pfttt.

The old man clears his throat, "ahem", lowers his paper a little and calls out,  "duke ! ". Then he raises the paper and continues to read.

The young man smiles, knowing he got away with one and realizes he can do even better and relieve a little more to ease the tension. So he leans the other way , raises a cheek and lets a slightly bigger one rip...pppptttt.

The old man again clears his throat and lowers his paper.

Looking at the dog he says " Duke !!" then goes back to reading the news.

The young man is in his glory. "One more just might do the trick." he thinks so he leans forward to pet the dog and...Braaaappp!!...lets one go.

The old man grunts to himself, slams the paper down and yells....


"DUKE !!!!  Get over here before he toejamS on ya !"


 

[AKIron]

Grizz, that one's at least 50 years old. Still a good one tho.

[Maverick]

Here's one.

Fixin The Outhouse

Maw is outside hangin up the laundry,
when she hears Paw in the kitchen.  
Maw walks in and says, "Paw, get out
there and fix that there outhouse.
"Paw says, "All right, Maw."
Paw walks out to the outhouse, looks
at it,and says, "Maw, there ain't nothin'
wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw says, "Yes, there is. Put your head
down in the hole."Paw says "I ain't puttin
my head in that there hole!"
Maw says, "Well you're gonna have to ifluff'n
you're gonna fix the problem!"Paw puts
his head down in the hole (just a little bit
mind ya) andhe hollers, "Maw, there ain't
nothin' wrong with this here outhouse!"
Maw hollers, "Now pull your head out of
the hole."
Paw goes to lift up his head and he says,
"Oww! OWW! Maw! MAW, my beard's
in the cracks in the seat!"
Maw says, "Aggravatin', ain't it?"

Mav