Idiot tries to break into UAL cockpit

[Toad]

Well, how can you be 100% sure that it isn't some Osama Mamma Jammer that is faking being drunk while he struggles to get his exploding Nike Michael Jordans through the blowout panel? Better to be 100% sure that he's dead.

I also think killing the intruder would indeed have achieved something. You can bet the word would have gone round the world on CNN in 27 seconds or less. I have to believe it would clarify the situation in the minds of a few "air rage" prone passengers.

My personal gently delivered "instructions" are to use the blade side of the axe and keep swinging until the head comes off or the body stops twitching. So far, 100% of the interviewed F/O's have enthusiastically agreed with this technique.

Should I find one that goes "eeeewwwwww  I don't think I could do THAT!" I'll just have him/her unsheath the axe and pass it over to my side prior to takeoff.  Then he can fly and I'll do the attitude adjustment, should the need ever occur.

To each his own. Run your ship the way you want it run.

 But if someone comes aggressively and unauthorized through the door, they'll get "dealer's choice" in any event. Some dealers are going to be rough.  

[rogwar]

Originally posted by rogwar
Thursday February 7 1:25 PM ET
Man Tries to Enter Cockpit on Flight to Argentina

I did get some updated information on this character. Apparently he was on his way to Argentina from Miami to recieve a Darwin Award.

[Creamo]

LOL Toad, you know I had to put the axe back in the holder almost every overnight flight all last year? (although it seems to have stayed put in the last few months.)

I had to laugh picking up the plane to drive it to the hangar when the axe was out of the case, and in the brief case holder. Where DID those Yahting Mags go?!

Goof aside, that F/O saved a drunk from a horrid fate, which wasn't so much a threat, as a darwin (thanks Rog for that) trophy winner.

Makes me think the steel grate AA installed is more of a "Instant Justice Lesson Distractor " than a actual deterent to access the cockpit.

Im with Rog, I just can't just keep laughing at the fools that try to go through the cat door, just to get whipped like a a little squeak yappin at the crews shoes. Access any other way is pretty much impossible.

Granted, prior 9/11 cockpit doors sucked, yer damn right.  However, now it's just how much instant justice the crew will administer, which is good.

And btw, I aint buying the Marshal Dylan "shoot em" or "decapitate em"  Wild West/Midevil persona you posted.

Your F/O's and you will do the right thing, as the United F/O did. Most understand that as BBS banter.

All is good.

Happy flying.

[Toad]

Originally posted by Creamo
And btw, I aint buying the Marshal Dylan "shoot em" or "decapitate em"  Wild West/Midevil persona you posted.
 

Don't bet the ranch on it, Chester.

[Creamo]

"Festus" would have been the better moniker in the reply, but I like the thread topic turn. Cool, funner this way.

I'm at least, not the "F/O" that you would expect to SMASH a sharp crash axe through a helpless drunks head as he was wallowing on the cockpit floor, wedged in a blow out panel.

That in account, WHO DO you expect to kill these tards? Your F/O's as you said? Or You?

I know pilots can cure cancer, and navigate the world by slide-rules and dead reconing instinct, ask the AH BBS devoted( I always wondered why Collins and Honeywell avionics ever stayed in business)  but they are also blessed with security and soldier capabilities?

Ah come on. Didn't this United F/O just use some common sense, and act quite appropriate given the situation?

You ain't getting a gun and a holster, so play fair in your responce. It's not just me making sense.

(Course, the pilots threatened to strike over the "Yaaahaa! I need a holster and a 6 shooter" ) so this post is time dated. Don't say "I told you so" if the airline industry and the American Public is held hostage by that kick-ass Union.

Be happy, and again, fly safe.

[Toad]

Have we heard the WHOLE story yet?

"An airline passenger who was subdued with an ax after he kicked in the bottom of a cockpit door and tried to wriggle through said later that he had "wanted to destroy everything," according to the FBI....

..Argentine authorities said they were investigating whether he was under the influence of drugs or mentally unhinged. U.S. officials said he did not appear to be drunk and was not armed, and that it did not appear to be a terrorist act....."

As I said, how do you tell the Osama Mamma Jammas from the "normal" crazies? "Harmless drunk?"  How do you know? Unarmed? Have you checked for exploding tennies? Who knows what else they're going to come up with? Mont Blanc pens packed with cyanide? It's getting like Maxwell Smart and Agent 99 out there. They've proven they are not technologically unaware and incapable. Does anyone really KNOW what weapons they're working on now and/or what they may have brought in through our faultless security? You may not have very long to decide.

The cockpit is "like a box of chocolates"... try to open it in flight aggressively and without authorization and you just never know what you're going to get. Perhaps you'll find that cool, reserved "common sense", considerate, perfect UAL F/O. Or, maybe you'll find somebody that's STILL really pissed that they used the airline industry to strike the USA, flattening the economy and deeply wounding the industry.... and considers it his job to make absolutely certain that it doesn't happen again with "this" aircraft. You just never know, do you?

I have no problem with Darwinian theory. Somebody wants to play "cockpit door roulette"? OK, just be advised he may come up "00".

As I mentioned before, in the 5+ months since 9/11, I have yet to meet one F/O that wasn't enthusiastic about keeping transgressors permanently out of the cockpit. It's just easier for a right-handed F/O to engage an intruder from his seat than it is for a right-handed Captain from the left seat, given the door location. However, roles CAN be reversed.

Look at it any way you want; you have your feet on the ground at work. Not everyone has that luxury.


.... and, continuing the Forrest Gump theme....

"That's all I have to say about that."

Cya.

[rogwar]

Originally posted by Toad

I have no problem with Darwinian theory. Somebody wants to play "cockpit door roulette"? OK, just be advised he may come up "00".

Such a character would never know what or who's behind door number 1.  What if the pilot's brother was a New York fireman? Cockpit door roulette hits the nail on the head!

However having spent time in a past life (10 years ago) significantly involved in counter terrorism and such things I would recommend just enough force to safely and securely stop the attack (including killing the assailant if needed). Assuming it might be a real TANGO like Richard Reid, they can be a great source of intel if left alive.

These sorts of things go down very fast when they happen. It's difficult to predict the outcome.

I am curious where the Air Marshals were?

By the way, I now travel over 100k air miles a year usually on AA. Last year I flew 120K actual miles. I have spotted one Air Marshal so far, on a flight from Rio de Janiero to Miami in December. How? Experience with noticing things like weapon's bulges and light kevlar fabric type body armor beneath clothing.

In my opinion this banker was just dumb as a box of rocks. One thing is likely certain, they are not issuing anymore just warnings and maybe a fine for misbehaving on aircraft.

Happy Flying!

Rogue out

[Toad]

Oh yeah.. air marshals.

Not their fault of course, but anyone want to guess how many AM's I've had on my 757/767 aircraft since 9/11? (They are required to make themselves known to the crew.)

Want to guess?

Oh, you don't need to? You figured it out already?

That's what I thought.

[Creamo]

Hey, I'm not going to argue with anyone that is dead set on playing O.J. in a situation where the deciding factor is not wether the attacker is subdued, but rather if the sorry bastard"might" have a KAOS shoe phone and resude from a firecracker on it. Kill em all, certainly you would know I don't care. If you try and breach a cockpit door, sorry pal, you lost lifes lottery. Same thing with child molesters.

 I just thought it made a good argument that most people wouldn't spray grey matter, blood, and bone chips all over hell and themselves when someone is stuck in your blow out panel. Not to say he didn't want to show you him lighting his Nike's. I guess. Still, chopping off a head with an axe is some super sick toejam. Cool actually, I just couldn't sleep after that kinda thing. It was worth asking about all these loyal F/O's that could. More power to them.

Oh, and I have the luxury of keeping my feet on the ground for a living, because I would make a bad stewardess. It's the deciding who gets the full can of pop vs. the just 3 oz. in a plastic cup that would drive me crazy. Plus they are usually gay, or date pilots, which I think is the same thing. I still don't see them as fearless shining brave knights of the sky though. I'll have to look harder.

I do drive a car to work, and if I spilled coffee on my nads, I suppose I could swerve and fly off a bridge, crashing in a horrid heap of fire and twisted metal. Actually, that stats prove Im more likley to die driving to the terminal than on a jet. See? Told you Im tougher, and braver, and don't wear polyester.

[Vulcan]

The only issue I see with ofsquealing the guys head is that it'd squirt blood all over the cockpit instruments and leave a hell of a mess for the Air Hostess's to clean up.

Seems the F/O musta thought it through :-)