Author Topic: Ethnic joke. (Read 730 times)

Boroda · « **Reply #15 on:** February 09, 2002, 02:24:30 PM »

It IS funny.

But I don't accept certain jokes from certain people.

And our conversation with Toad is absolutely different thing

An ordinary Soviet student talking to an RC-135 commander... I still hope that I have one chance out of 1000 to persuade hhim

Toad · « **Reply #16 on:** February 09, 2002, 02:58:09 PM »

Quote

PVO commander

What, the SOVIET FOREIGN MINISTER and the Director of the Soviet National Air Defense Forces from 1967 to 1985 aren't good enough for you? LOL!

I'll just repeat myself from another thread and then I'll get out of this one.. I guess it is my fault it's going so far off topic. It's just that the "Delusional News" from Boroda gets to me once in a while.

"Boroda, it doesn't matter what it was built for.

By design/function (type: large phased array),

by location (well inside USSR, 800 kilometers from border)

and by orientation (not looking "outward")

... the Krasnoyarsk radar was a VIOLATION OF THE ABM TREATY.

Yeniseysk (Krasnoyarsk)

[AND THE SOVIET UNION ADMITTED IT!

[The USSR Foreign Minister ADMITTED IT!

On 23 October 1989, Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union Eduard Shevardnadze conceded that the Krasnoyarsk radar was a violation of the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty[/u]....

[Director of the Soviet National Air Defense Forces from 1967 to 1985 ADMITTED IT!

"Retired Soviet General Y.V. Votintsev, Director of the Soviet National Air Defense Forces from 1967 to 1985, subsequently publicly stated that he was directed by the Chief of the Soviet General staff to locate the large phased-array radar at Krasnoyarsk despite the recognition by Soviet authorities that the location of such a radar at that location would be a clear violation of the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty"[/u]

Now, you don't have to ADMIT it... YOU just have to ACCEPT it.

*******

Lastly...

Quote

You just "bomb them to stone age".

Now Boroda.. if ANYONE knows how to bomb a people back to the stone age.. it'd be YOUR military.

Not ours.

Want to go into the Grozny bombardment again?

LOL... compare total civilian casualties in the Chechen wars with total civilian causualties in the Gulf War and Afghanistan... AND USE REPUTABLE SOURCES PLEASE.. NOT YOUR USUAL TOTALLY UNSUPPORTED ESTIMATES AND FORGET ABOUT THE "FAMINE" LOSSES IN IRAQ AFTER THE "EMBARGO".... WE'RE TALKING COMBAT LOSSES.

And skip the old "every Chechen IS a terrorist" baloney too.

Now, I'm OUT of this thread. But if you want to continue your fantasy arguments on this stuff, just start another thread.

I'll be happy to supply the numbers and links that show you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

Because all I have to do is clip and paste them from other threads where you've made identical, totally preposterous claims

Have a REAL nice day!

osage · « **Reply #17 on:** February 09, 2002, 11:43:06 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Boroda
An "awfull service they are accustomed to" is long gone now.

You should say "Soviet" instead of "Russian".

I always get a perfect service wherever I go, and believe me, I travel all across European Russia, and some times in Siberia. The worst service I get is in Moscow. It means that I get my beer or vodka 2 minutes after I order it. In, say, Leningrad waiters are much faster.

You should say "St. Petersburg" instead of "Leningrad."

By the way, is it true that Putin is pardoning all Russian women, even those convicted of the most serious crimes?

Emptying the jails should jack up the overall "politeness factor," hehe.

gavor · « **Reply #18 on:** February 10, 2002, 07:20:32 PM »

I love it, another Boroda vs The World thread. They come out thin air.

The joke was ok but the thread is better.

hoka · « **Reply #19 on:** February 16, 2002, 10:59:19 AM »

Well since we're cracking jokes on other enthic groups.. i know one also

How was copper wire invented???
Two jews found a penny at the same time!!

capt. apathy · « **Reply #20 on:** February 16, 2002, 11:28:20 AM »

Ya maybe if we get back to jokes we can derail this hijack.
Let’s see how many nationalities or other groups we can offend, if we can offend everyone than it's not biased- I’ll start with one a Hawaiian guy told me while I was working over there.

4 guys where standing at the rail of a ship looking at the sunset, a Hawaiian, a Russian, a Japanese, and a Cuban.

So the Cuban pulls a nice $20 cigar out of his pocket lights it, takes a couple drags and tosses it into the boats wake.
The others can't believe his waste and are outraged, he says "I’m from Cuba and we have more of those than anybody could ever need"

So the Russian gets into the spirit and takes out a nice bottle of vodka, takes a couple pulls off the bottle and throws it into the wake saying "where I’m from we have more than anyone could need"

So the Hawaiian picks up the Japanese and throws him into the wake.....

Boroda · « **Reply #21 on:** February 16, 2002, 01:18:46 PM »

Hehe, can't imagine a Russian tossing a full bottle away

At least this didn't change since Miko left

Aliens caught an American, German and Russian and locked each one in a closed compartment with four 10cm steel balls.

A month later they open a compartment with an American and see him tossing balls and trying to hit onewith another. "A sportsman, an ingenious nature trying to have fun in any situation".

Then they opened a Gereman's cell. All balls were in a pyramide, and he was polishing them with a handkerchief. "A very stable person, likes order and perfection everywhere".

Finaly they came to a Russian and saw him sitting on the floor with all the balls missing! "Where are the balls!?" - "Well... I broke one down and the others are f@#king lost..."

(Odin razbil, a ostal'nie - proebal...)

At least this one isn't outdated

Tac · « **Reply #22 on:** February 16, 2002, 02:10:08 PM »

What's the Cuban National Anthem?

A/ "Row, Row, Row your boat..."

*cymbals ding*

(Animal will kill me for this one *grin*)

Why are there no Puerto Ricans in Star Trek?

A/ Because in the future they dont want to work either!

"One of the greatest symbols of American and British brotherhood is in their flags. The British made theirs complex and dignified.. then the Americans took the British flag and copied it when they were stoned."

"A Texan lawmaker with a reputation to push for harsh immigration policies took the stand and began his speech '..we should expel all illegal immigrants NOW!' . Inmediately a Native American representative boomed out "I'll help you pack!"

"The Dow Jones index went up during the Clinton administration. Which proves that when the president gets a hummer, the economy stands up!"

Tac · « **Reply #23 on:** February 16, 2002, 02:20:17 PM »

TOP TEN TIMES IN HISTORY, WHEN USING THE "F" WORD WAS APPROPRIATE

10th - "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC

9th - "How the @#$% did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126 BC

8th - "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo,1566

7th - "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877

6th - "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" - Picasso, 1926

5th - "Where the @#$% are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937

4th - "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938

3rd - "What the @#$% was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

2nd - "I need this parade like I need a @#$%ing hole in the head!" -
JFK,1963

And,.....drum roll........

The number 1 most appropriate time for using the "F" word.................

"Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"- Bill Clinton, 1997

---------------------------------------------

A Chinaman was sitting on a bench when an American Jew man came up and punched him in the face. "What the f**k was that for?" asked the Chinaman. "That's for Pearl Harbour" replied the American Jew. "That wasn't us, that was the Japanese", said the Chinaman. "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese whatever" replied the American Jew. To which the Chinaman turned around and punched the Jew in the face. "And what was that for?" asked the Jew. "The Titanic" replied the Chinaman. "That wasn't us it was an iceberg", said the Jew. "Goldberg, Steinberg, Iceberg whatever." replied the Chinaman.

capt. apathy · « **Reply #24 on:** February 16, 2002, 02:40:52 PM »

Boroda, I love the steel ball joke, I heard it to describe Boilermakers (my craft) so I decided to share a couple of my favorites where I was the butt of the joke.

First the versions of the steel balls-
So they put these guys in a room with nothing but 3 steel bearings and filmed them to see what they would do with them when left alone for 8 hours.

The first was a small boy, when they let him out they didn't need to review the film, it was obvious he'd been playing marbles with them, that seemed normal.

Next they went to the nuclear physicist and it was also clear what he'd done, he'd made a model of an atom, this seemed normal too.

Next they released the boilermaker and all they found was some slag on the floor, upon reviewing the film it turns out he lost one, broke one, and took the third home in his lunchbox.

___________________________
Q: whats the difference between a Hoover & a Harley-Davidson
A: on a Hoover the dirtbag is on the inside
_____________________________ __

Just a few favorites that where at my expense.

thrila · « **Reply #25 on:** February 16, 2002, 02:54:53 PM »

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.

The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought £300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in!"

The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent 17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"

The Irishman nods wisely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles. "My wife recently left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a noodle!"

mrfish · « **Reply #26 on:** February 16, 2002, 03:16:54 PM »

What do a lobster and an Asian run over by a steam roller have in common?
They're both "crushed-asians"
*************
A man was walking through Chinatown when he noticed a sign reading: "Hans Schmidt's Chinese Laundry." Being of a curious nature, he entered and was greeted by an old Oriental man who identified himself as Hans Schmidt.
"How come you have a name like that?" inquired the stranger.
"Is simple," says the old Oriental man.
"Many, many year ago when come to this country, stand in immigration line behind a big German guy. Immigration lady look at him and go, "What your name?"
He say, "Hans Schmidt."
Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'"
"I say, Sam Ting."
*****************

Why are aspirins white?
You want them to WORK, don't you?

*********************************

and where'd we be without scientist jokes:

There are 3 kind of mathematician: those that can count and those that cannot.

**********************

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are trying to determine if all odd numbers greater than 1 are prime.

Mathematician: "Three is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime--so the statement must be false."

Physicist: "Three is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime...9 must be experimental error, so the statement is true."

Engineer: "Three is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime..."

Saurdaukar · « **Reply #27 on:** February 17, 2002, 02:34:57 AM »

I deal with alot of Russians on a daily basis... the "rude" assessment is spot on.

Mazz/Mike
<-TFC->