If I were a swan, I'd be gone.   [swan = Spit14]
If I were a train, I'd be late.    [train = Spit V]
And if I were a good man [who uses voice feature], I'd talk with you more often than I do. 
If I were to sleep, I could dream.  [but I'm always playing AH]
If I were afraid, I could hide.  [but I never hide in my Spit V]
If I go insane, please don't put your wires in my brain.