Author Topic: Justifying the Cougar to my wife... (Read 608 times)

muckmaw · « **on:** May 23, 2002, 02:15:47 PM »

"Honey, I need a new joystick for Aces High"
"What, that silly video game you're always playing"
"It's not a game, it's a WWII Combat Flight Simulator"
"Whatever..How much is it?"
"Uh....$270.00"
"And why, may I ask, must you spend $270.00 to play a video game"

"Uh......"

Possible answers:

1. It will alow me to get more kills, therefore improving the self-esteem that 7 years with you has thoroughly depleted

2. The tight springs will make one of my arms really buff.

3. It accentuates the room with it's steel black finish.

4. The other guys have one.

5. It has an interchangable...stick...and you never know what those guys at "THRUST master" may come up with. (New meaning to the term "Force Feedback")

6. It will improve my ability to communicate my feelings.

7. I bring home the paycheck and I'll buy whatever the F*** I want. (followed by the duck and cover maneauver)

So which choice should I run with?

Nifty · « **Reply #1 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:18:42 PM »

Go with 7!

Then again, my thinking that choice 7 is the best one is probably a good reason why I am still single.

Curval · « **Reply #2 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:21:06 PM »

Firstly you must correct her on the fact that Aces High is not a game...it is a hobby...and $270 spent on a hobby is a bargain, even compared to stamp collecting!

Secondly, use your "The other guys have them" excuse....as it is a hobby, and very important to you, it is only logical that for you to be competative it is necessary for you to have the right equipment and that NOT having one puts you at a disadvantage.

This was my tactic...and the next time I am in the US/Canada I will be a proud owner of a Cougar.

mason22 · « **Reply #3 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:25:30 PM »

8. the boy with the most toys wins.

Sabre · « **Reply #4 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:26:07 PM »

8. "Because whenever you enter the room, Sweethart, I can't stand the thought of such a dismal excuse for a joystick as I now have being anywhere in your glorious presence. You deserve to be surrounded by only the best, Baby!"

You may be forced to take five minutes or so to back up your words. Such a passionet statement will no doubt cause your wife to rip the clothes off of you and demand your instant and complete attention:D.

tkor · « **Reply #5 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:30:18 PM »

Sabre writes;

You may be forced to take five minutes or so to back up your words. Such a passionet statement will no doubt cause your wife to rip the clothes off of you and demand your instant and complete attention.

Yikes! Whatever it is that you are drinking, I'll have one too! LOL

muckmaw · « **Reply #6 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:32:53 PM »

WHAT?!?!

A Cougar and Sex?!?!!?!

You're a genius!

I get to have 2 things I never thought I would see again!

Roscoroo · « **Reply #7 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:42:10 PM »

start bringing car parts into the kitchen and washing them in the sink. also a few carburator rebuilds on the coffee table helps too.
If this fails take her to the hobby shop and start looking at R.C, planes (you know which ones)
she will let you buy new toys for the sim hobby .... Trust me it works

Eagler · « **Reply #8 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:46:06 PM »

1. & 7.

be sure to ask for ur Cougar in the divorce settlement

Sikboy · « **Reply #9 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:48:28 PM »

You might want to figure out how far $270 will go in lap dances at a local strip club. That usually helps me justify stuff that "keeps me at home and in plain view"

-Sikboy

Rude · « **Reply #10 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:52:23 PM »

My wifey and I figured out this money thing along time ago...it goes like this:

Whatever I spend on something is perfectly acceptable to her and I do not need her permission because, what ever dollar amount I spend, she gets to spend the same amount on herself and visa versa.

For you married guys that compromised who you were and what you liked to do early on in your engagement/marriage era, suck it up....you blew it. You must lay it out with your significant other so that they understand who ya are...this way, you can still enjoy the stupid stuff you always did before getting married and not have a pissed off wifey.

I used to spend thousands racing R/C Cars all over the US. When I would pull out for a race, my wife would give me a big wet one and tell me to kick their arses....my friends on the other hand, would be worried and unhappy because they knew they would be hearing about what they had done for years to come. and they always wondered why I won so many races...simple, no stress from home...I was focused:)

I have a very cool wifey:)

pangea · « **Reply #11 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:55:19 PM »

This is one of the MANY reasons why I am......happily divorced.

Sabre · « **Reply #12 on:** May 23, 2002, 02:57:15 PM »

Yeah, but my way is more fun, Rude;).

Monk · « **Reply #13 on:** May 23, 2002, 03:34:47 PM »

Use what I use all the time, go get it, don't tell her, and when she sees it, say "I don't know where it came from"........works like a charm:D

Mister Fork · « **Reply #14 on:** May 23, 2002, 03:45:51 PM »

Or the answer every woman want's to hear...

#10 - "Cause honey, if I get a cougar, you get a day spa with a manicure, pedicure, and a massage."

It worked for me every time. I'm divorced now, but I think my X used to like it cause she was always asking:

"Are you going to upgrade your machine soon honey?"