What a great day at the Peace Conference! It started off really bad when I couldn't find my Lybian and North Korean flags, but I drank some soothing herbal tea and burned a peace candle to mellow out. Then I cruised to Berkeley in my 1965 Volkswagen Bus (nicknamed Mister Magoo because back in THE DAY I was too stoned to know where I was going) and got to meet Abby and Tom Hayden! In fact we got our picture taken in front of Mr. Magoo, and I showed off my vintage sound system and played a Grateful Dead 8-track for them. They were impressed.
We had an apology workshop today that moved me to tears. All us white people had to convince people of color we are truly sorry for what we have done to them for the past 400 years. We paired off, one white and one minority, and us whites had to beg forgiveness until our minority forgave us. If we failed to convince our minority we were truly sorry we failed the exercise and had to wear a "Republican Necklace of Disgrace" for the remainder of the day. I tried everything to get Hadja, my Pakistani partner in the exercise, to forgive me but he was adamant I was responsible for his personal misery. I cried, I begged, I pleaded, but what finally got Hadja to forgive me was the fifty bucks I slipped him under the table.
I love the lunches at these leftist workshops. Today we had fresh sprouts, four sesame seeds, tofu marinated in lemon water, an orange wedge and one Freeto. Not to be complaining, but the only bad thing about eating Leftist food is that you're hungry again in an hour. I think we're having split pea soup for lunch tomorrow because the food server was telling everyone today to "Visualize Whirled Peas."
Our afternoon lecture was on "Fascism On The Internet." My stomach was growling so loud I didn't catch all of it, but basically we're exploring ways to ban fascist and racist viewpoints on the Internet because it interferes with our right to free speech.
After we were dismissed I walked down Telegraph Avenue looking for a Jane Fonda "Barbarella" poster, but all I found was one of her in that Hanoi AA battery and I already have that, so I got a slice of veggie pizza and some raw almonds and cruised back home.
Tomorrow we're having a workshop on Exploitation of Women where all the males have to put on makeup and dresses and dance around and wait on the females to please them. If we don't make our female happy we have to wear a Republican Necklace of Disgrace the rest of the day.
I'll keep you all posted,
Elfenwolf
PS: Sikboy, I was talking to a street vendor selling candles on Telegraph Avenue and he says he was an attorney but he makes more money selling candles so he closed his law pratice. He says if you were smart you'd give up on college, buy a bunch of wax and a card table and become a street vendor. Not only is your income tax free, but there's not alot of thinking involved in making candles so you can stay stoned all day.
