Congratulations Jarbo
Few tips from a fairly new dad:
1. Buy a diaper Genie if you don't have one; not only will it seal off the smell of funky packages but you literally get to make diaper sausage; all the guys in your neighborhood will be envious as you carry your creation to the dumpster.
2. Sleep whenever you can. Lunch. Dinner. Ride the bus to work or carpool, sleep there. Sleep on the throne and in the shower, and ignore hallucinations.
3. Prepare for the possibilty that your wife may develop several hundred undesired personalities over the next year; post-partum depression might be her new worst enemy; just keep her active and happy, and GET HER OUT LOTS.
4. Don't make the mistake of thinking that if you can get through the pregnancy and the first year, you can do anything. Just today, I caught my soon-to-be two-year-old trying to flush herself down the toilet. Your patience will be tested a million times over.
5. Teething. Ah frikken teething.
6. Projectile barf can ruin good electronics. Don't pat her on the back after feeding anywhere near anything that can short circuit, and be especially careful if you have a dog when she pukes; this starts an accelerating circle of barf because the dog eats it, you barf, dog eats it, mom barfs, etc.
8. Notice I skipped seven? That's what happens to your brain after a year or so--get used to that.
9. Best way to put it all in perspective is imagine yourself at 90-years old and how your wife, child/children will say you lived. It's a good feeling; take it in bro
