Grapevine—The new Aces High patch will have many new features, and among them are measures included to counter several of the “overmodeled” pilots in the game, namely Citabria and hblair.
In speaking with HiTech Creations, Inc. representatives today, we learned a few of the fixes that will be in the next patch.
Citabria, long a proponent of the Lockheed P-38 Lightning, will now take to the air in an olive drab ultralight, powered by a 12hp Briggs& Stratton engine, driving a four bladed 6’ propeller. Projected top speed of the ship is 85 knots, with a service ceiling of 10,000 feet. Armament for the mighty beast is a spit shooter, consisting of a 10” plastic straw and a jar of spitwads.
In an exclusive interview with the famed pilot, we asked Citabria what he thought about the changes to his mount.
“Well, I kinda don’t like it that they took my beloved Lightning from me, but I guess I will have to make do with this @#!%! for the time being. She won’t climb like my other bird did, but hell, she will outturn anything in the arena. And I have a few surprises for them ole boys in them there WW2 planes,” he said, gesturing to his canvas shrouded craft.
“Say, that looks like the barrel for a 25mm chain gun! And that fabric looks like Kevlar…..”
“SHHHH!” he hissed at me. “HiTech don’t know bout that yet!”
Further questioning was not possible, as the veteran pilot came after this reporter with a cresecent wrench, signalling me that it was time to leave.
I next journeyed to Alabama, to meet the esteemed 109 driver, hblair.
After a quick tour of his body shop, he got right to the point.
“So, you wanna know about my new ride HiTech is sticking to me?” he drawled.
“If you don’t mind, sir, the Aces High public would love to see what kind of ship will be in.”
“Come on back an’ I’ll show it to ya.”
Far back in a deserted corner, hblair pulled the wraps off what appeared to be a replica is the original Wright Brothers flyer.
“I, uhh, added a little more power than HT wanted me to have, but you won’t tell him, will ya?” he said with a grin.
“What do you see as this ship’s strengths, Mr. Blair?”
“Welp, I covered the thing in Kevlar, then put canvas over that so HT won’t notice it. Then, he only gave me an old pump up Daisy BB gun to shoot with….
“I added a mini-gun, fires 3000 or 6000 rounds a minute, to the underside of the top wing,” he pointed out, motioning to the add-on weapon, “only thing is, when I fire, sometimes them hot shell cases fall down on me, and one went down my pants the other day when I was doing some flight tests. Hurt awful bad, it did. Burned me too, right on my right butt cheek. Wanna see?”
“No, no, no! Please, Mr. Blair, pull your pants back up!” I responded as he dropped his jeans to show off his battle wound.
“I figure I can out scissor anybody, anywhere in this here bird. ‘Course, I may have to do a lot of that, seeing as how I sure ain’t gonna outrun or outclimb anything. Ya know, I lost a race with a dang crow the other day…..he got to altitude a heck of a lot quicker than I did. But I showed him alright! Lit his black feathered butt up with my old minigun, I did! Umm…..that was how I got burned…..wanna see the scar?”
“Please, Mr. Blair, pull your boxers and jeans back up! This is most inappropriate…..”
Concluding the interview, I traveled back to my office and filed this earth shattering report, to let the AH public know that help IS on it’s way, courtesy of Hi Tech Creations, Inc..
Long live Aces High!
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This was not meant to offend anyone.....just wanted to have a little fun with all of you....
Cya in the arena!
[This message has been edited by eddiek (edited 08-30-2000).]
