To: All EMS Personnel
From: Chief of Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions
It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS
narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective
immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to
describe patients, such as the following:
1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up
heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it
before, got it again).
2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP
(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.
3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom),
TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car
crash do not have to include phrases like "negative
vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."
4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."
5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not
considered "pharmaceutically gifted."
6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."
7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is endotracheal intubation
referred to as a "PVC Challenge".
8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up,"
ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the
drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing
records).
I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients
to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log
entries.
