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Author Topic: Church of $cientolohgy  (Read 352 times)

Offline moose

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« on: June 23, 2002, 07:34:23 PM »
http://www.xenutv.com/

http://www.xenu.net

I started watching this stuff

Can someone explain all this to me? interesting but beyond my mental ability
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<----ASSASSINS---->

Offline Sandman

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« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2002, 08:02:50 PM »
Scientology is a cult.
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sand

Offline GWH

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« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2002, 08:43:28 PM »
Be quiet, fellas!  You don't want to become a victim of the "Fair Game" policy!  :)

But seriously, $cientology is a bizarre cult founded by a mentally unstable hack sci-fi writer (like this is news to anyone).  How anyone could buy into it (literally), especially after all the bad PR about the paranoid group and its teachings, escapes me.  Of course, a few hundred years from now everyone could be a $cientologist - that's just how these things can work sometimes.  :)
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Offline fdiron

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« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2002, 09:27:03 PM »
I just read the FAQ on scientology.  That Sea Org group sounds similar to Nazi slave labor.
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Offline N1kPaz

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Scientology...
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2002, 07:53:54 AM »
is nuts..but Battlefield Earth was a good book . (i hear movie bites. wont watch it for fear of ruining the book)
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Offline hawk220

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« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2002, 09:26:39 AM »
sandman is right..its a cult..a lot like christianity...except it hasn't been around as long
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Offline Mr Hanky

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« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2002, 10:22:17 AM »
Its a bizarre cult that seems to appeal to actors with bellow average IQs (even for actors).
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Offline -sudz-

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« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2002, 12:49:47 PM »
You have all been marked for special consideration when the New World Order of the 16th Level comes.  I will use the my Firestarter skillz (14th level) learned from the prehistoric aliens (our creators).

My mentor, Zanthu of Omicron 7, commands these things. Repent sinners!

-Sudz, Acolyte
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Offline majic

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« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2002, 12:58:40 PM »
"(i hear movie bites. wont watch it for fear of ruining the book)"

The movie was terrible, nothing at all like the book.  Should have known when Travolta was gonna be in it....
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Offline gofaster

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« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2002, 01:48:07 PM »
No, no.  Don't join Scientology, join Heaven's Gate!  I hear there's a spaceship on the far side of Mars that's going to be in close orbit to Earth and will be able to beam us off of Earth.  But you have to be a member of the cult to hitch a ride!

We'll have a black pair of Nike high-top sneakers and a purple veil waiting for you back at the mansion...

P.S: we also do Internet consulting and web design.  Recommend us to your friends!
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Offline midnight Target

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« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2002, 05:59:45 PM »
Now why bag on John Travolta? People who have had the good fortune to run into the guy always say he is one of the genuine nice guys in Hollyweird.  

But even more important, he is a jet (multiengine) qualified pilot, and by all accounts a pretty damn good one.
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Offline Mr Hanky

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« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2002, 07:13:36 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Now why bag on John Travolta?
Is this a trick question?
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Offline Pongo

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« Reply #12 on: June 24, 2002, 11:40:39 PM »
Quick..someone form a squad called the Scientologists...
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Offline -dead-

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« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2002, 02:06:28 AM »
Arriving at L. Ron Hoover's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized TV screen...

L. Ron Hoover:
Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology! The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only!

Don't you be Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme
Don't you never try to look behind my eyes
You don't wanna know what they have seen

Joe: (thinking to himself)
Some people think
That if they go too far
They'll never get back
To where the rest of them are
I might be crazy
But there's one thing I know
You might be surprised
At what you find when ya go!

And thus, having rationalized his expedition to L. Ron's modernistic office / cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, JOE seeks The Answer to his problem...

Joe:
Oh oh oh
Mystical Advisor
What is my problem, tell me
Can you see?

L. Ron Hoover:
Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!
You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist,
It appears to me!

Joe:
That all seems very, very strange
I never craved a toaster or a color T.V.

L. Ron Hoover:
A Latent Appliance Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of MACHINES...
Get the picture?

Joe:
Are you telling me I should come out of the closet now
Mr. Ron?

L. Ron Hoover:
No, my son! You must go into THE CLOSET

Joe:
What?

L. Ron Hoover:
And you will have

Joe:
Heh?

L. Ron Hoover:
Hey!
A lot of fun!
That's where they all live
So if you want an appliance to love you
You'll have to go in there 'N' get you one

Joe:
Well...that seems simple enough...

L. Ron Hoover:
Yes, but if you want a really GOOD one, You'll have to learn a foreign language...

Joe:
German, for instance?

L. Ron Hoover:
That's right...  A lot of really cute ones come from over there!
(Fifty bucks, please)

And a cheerful group of Appliantologists dance into the room wearing aluminum foil lab smocks, lock arms in a circle around JOE, making sure he pays in full, all the while singing with L. RON as he delivers his final instructions...

L. Ron Hoover:
If you been Mod-O-fied,
It's an illusion, an yer in between
Don't you be Tarot-fied,
It's just a lot of nothin',
So what can it mean?
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“The FBI has no hard evidence connecting Usama Bin Laden to 9/11.” --  Rex Tomb, Chief of Investigative Publicity for the FBI, June 5, 2006.

Offline Fatty

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« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2002, 08:20:31 AM »
I'm telling Tom Cruise on you heretics.
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