Top 10 suggestions for 'full realism'

[jaus]

There has been some discussion lately about the lack of realism in AH so I thought I would provide my top 10 suggestions for improving your AH experience.

10.  Turn off the heat or air conditioning in your house for a couple of days prior to your next mission.

9.   Get some rations from the surplus store and eat them for those two days.

8.   Play cards with matchsticks for at least 5 hours prior to your next mission.

7.   Before your next mission, walk around your computer for 20 minutes.  Inspect cables, nuts.... kick the harddrive.

6.   Make sure you fly over open space offline before the mission to make up for the compressed arenas.

5.   Make sure you pack furniture around your computer chair so you can't move for the next several hours.... no drinks or snacks!

4.   If you get shot down over enemy territory , go out and commit a crime that gets you 3-5 years.

3.   Keep an open bucket of aviation fuel under your seat so if your plane catches fire you can drop a lit match in it while you climb out over the furniture.

2.   If you get blown up, drop the match, but don't climb out.

1.   Remember to thank your grandfathers.

[Puck]

Originally posted by jaus


1.   Remember to thank your grandfathers.

The only grandfather I know about was an electrician at the Mare Island shipyard.

My FATHER was a nose gunner in B24s.

[HFMudd]

Yep, my father was mud Marine in the Pacific.  My grandfather on my mothers side was in the Prussian cavalry.  So far as I know, my grandfather on my fathers side was a German immigrant laborer.

[Widewing]

Some additions:

11) Put on a pair of heavy ski gloves or mits.

12) Get everyone in the house to talk to you at the same time.

13) To provide the appropriate level of fear, a line of code should be added to the software that reformats your drives should you die.

My regards,

Widewing

[Vermillion]

Get a friend (a strange and sadistic friend at that) to stand behind you with an AK-47 loaded with a few tracer rounds. Now everytime you fly near ack or an enemy gets close to you have him fire a few rounds "near" your cockpit and see how you like it.

OOoops he "missed" or didn't  

[Puck]

Fifty or sisxy people with automatic rifles firing at you, with tracers every five rounds.  You get the nice PING effect that way when they impact your cockpit.

Then add in five or six lobbing cherry bombs at you timed to explode near your head.

Of course if you miss the target you have to do it all again tomorrw.  If you HIT the target you can do it all again tomorrow against a different target.

Just for some added spice, bring your whole family along, so some of them can get killed, too.

Ain't war grand?

[udet]

u need to simulate the temperatures of the stratosphere, and the lower atmospheric pressure. Here's what I suggest:
1.Put on your heaviest clothes
2.Put the refrigerator on its back
3.Get an oxygen tank and set the regulator to minimum flow,add a scuba mouthpiece and breathe from it.(simulates anorexia)
4.Install a huge air compressor tha blows somewhere outside,and seal your room as tight as possible.
5. Get in the refrigerator and start playing.

[rv6]

OH MY GAWD!!  You guys are KILLING ME!!  Every once in a while, you read or see something that is funny..  Every few years you read or see something that is SO funny that you have to stop reading it because it strikes you SO DAMN FUNNY that you choke with laughter, belly hurts, and tears roll down cheeks..

I'm getting a visual on ALL THE STUFF you guys have presented for a "Reality Air War Simulator"..

BOOOOOOOAhaahahahaaaa!!  "a bucket of aviation fuel under your chair!  and drop a match in it@!"

My secretary just walked in,, thought I was having a seizure or SUMPTIN!!  AAAAAAAAhahaahahahaaaaaA!!!  YOu gotta' be kidding me..  Please make it stop!

RV6 ~  (must look away to compose self again!!)

[Don]

Ahem. Funny stuff but, I'd rather be able to take off, put on the ole auto pilot and climbout; leave my PC and grab a beer and go out on my deck and have a smoke then get back to my nice comfy padded desk chair.
For realism I'd like to fly in an environment that wont dump me to my desktop; allow my bullets to hit what I aim at instead of passing right through my target; be able to pull out of an intentional stall to evade that guy on my six; never have to deal with dancing buffs again; attack a Buff with a cannon armed plane that wont go poof when hit once by a buffs machine guns.
and finally, fly in an arena where turn and burn a/c will always rule.

[Vulcan]

Originally posted by udet

3.Get an oxygen tank and set the regulator to minimum flow,add a scuba mouthpiece and breathe from it.(simulates anorexia)

Dude we simulating catwalk models or pile-its here?

[Wlfgng]

don't think he meant anorexia

[udet]

oops...I ment hypoxia

[Modas]

Originally posted by Puck


The only grandfather I know about was an electrician at the Mare Island shipyard.

My FATHER was a nose gunner in B24s.

Had a great uncle that was AA gunner on a ship in the Pacific.  His ship would drop anchor, the motor close to shore, fire rockets guns in support of the landing crews, then use the anchor to pull them back out to sea.  He shot down a kamikazi going for their ship after he told his gun crew to load him up and "run".  His gun crew loaded up his magazines, ran for cover.  Japanese plane blew up so close to the ship the radial engine hit the gunner's tub he was sitting in.  He got a medal for that one, saved his gun crew and the ship.

He passed away a couple of month ago.  He didn't like talking about his experiences cuz they were so bad.

I don't need no stinking realism in this game, cuz it is only a game.  Be happy this is a game, cuz if it weren't most of us wouldn't be going home.