A fellow I knew had a bad snoring problem -- much to the dismay of his wife. He was disturbing her sleep so much that she inquired of the local doctor if there was anything she could do to correct the problem. The doctor recommended that she have her husband tie a ribbon around his testicles before going to bed stating that this simple trick should cure the problem.
Well -- that very night this ole boy came home from a night on the town with his buddies, fell into bed and immediately started snoring. His wife, much put out by the situation, got out of bed, retrieved a piece of blue ribbon from her sewing kit and tied it firmly around her husband's privates. He quit snoring instantly and the wife, pleasantly suprised, returned to bed in anticipation of her first full night's sleep in some time. Then, much to her chagrin, this guy's faithful Pointer bird dog began to snore. She returned to the sewing kit. Extracted a red ribbon and tied it around the dog's testicles. Damned if the dog didn't quit snoring also.
The next morning this fellow awakened sporting a tremendous hangover and an overly full bladder.
He went into the bathroom to relieve himself and discovered the blue ribbon tied around his testicles. He was trying to clear his head and figure out exactly what was going on when his trusty Pointer walked in. Spotting the red ribbon he said to the dog, "I don't know what the hell we did last night but it appears we won first and second place!"
