I used to have a lot of these kicking around, picked them up from many news groups. But this is still my favorite. Have had it on my system for years..
This came from a United Airlines pilot:
The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport are infamous for being a short tempered lot. They not only expect you to know you’re parking location but also how to get there without any assistance from them.
So it was with some amusement that we (United 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and the pilot of a British Airways 747 (callsign Speedbird 206).
Speedbird: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206, clear of the active."
Ground: "Guten morgen, taxi to your gate."
The BA 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground (brusquely): "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird: "Standby ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."
Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird (coolly): "Yes, several times in 1944, but I didn't stop."
Dog out.................