Monty Python RAF

[loser]

hey does anyone have a copy of that Monty Python WWII RAF sketch?

audio would great, video the best, but text will work.


thx

[Swoop]

The Banter Sketch


(Scene: a wartime RAF station)

Jones: Morning, Squadron Leader.

Idle: What-ho, Squiffy.

Jones: How was it?

Idle: Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.

Jones: Er, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you, Squadron Leader.

Idle: It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.

Jones: No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower.

Idle: Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy.

Jones: Hold on then... Wingco! Bend an ear to the Squadron Leader's banter for a sec, would you?

Chapman: Can do.

Jones: Jolly good. Fire away.

Idle: Bally Jerry, Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.

Chapman: No, I don't understand that banter at all.

Idle: Something up with my banter, chaps?

GRAMS: AIR RAID SIRENS

(Enter Palin, out of breath)


Palin: Bunch of monkeys on the ceiling, sir! Grab your egg-and-fours and let's get the bacon delivered!

Chapman (to Idle): Do *you* understand that?

Idle: No, I didn't get a word of it.

Chapman: Sorry, old man, we don't understand your banter.

Palin: You know, bally tenpenny ones dropping in the custard!

(no reaction)

Palin: Um... Charlie choppers chucking a handful!

Chapman: No no, sorry.

Jones: Say it slower, old chap.

Palin: Slower *banter*, sir?

Chapman: Ra-ther.

Palin: Um... sausage squad up the blue end?

Idle: No, still don't get it.

Palin: Um... cabbage crates coming over the briny?

The others: No, no.

(Film of air-raid)

Idle (voice-over): But by then it was too late. The first cabbage crates hit London on July the 7th. That was just the beginning.

(Chapman seen sitting at desk, on telephone)


Chapman: Five shillings a dozen? That's ordinary cabbages, is it? And what about the bombs? Good Lord, they _are_ expensive.
 

[whgates3]

...(Enter Palin, in RAF uniform)
 
Palin: I say, mater, cabbage crates coming over the briny.
Idle:  Sorry dear, don't understand.
Palin: Er -- cow-catchers creeping up on the conning towers?
Idle:  No, sorry old sport.
Palin: Um -- caribou nibbling at the croquet hoops.
Idle:  Yes, Mansfield shot one in the antlers.

[Horn]

Originally posted by loser
hey does anyone have a copy of that Monty Python WWII RAF sketch?
audio would great, video the best, but text will work.

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/RAFbanter.php

dh

[loser]

BAHAHAHA ... thx guys

[Soup Nazi]

"Grab your egg-and-fours and let's get the bacon delivered!"
 
"Sausage squad up the blue end?"


ROTFLOL!  Ahhh, a classic, thanks for the blast from the past..I loved these guys in the 70's/80's.

[midnight Target]

(Two Frenchmen stand in front of a diagram of a sheep adapted for flying. They speak rapidly in French, much of it pseudo.)

First Frenchman: (JOHN) Bonsoir - ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-français ... maintenant ... baa-aa, baa-aa... nous avons, dans la tête, le cabinc. Ici, on se trouve le petit capitaine Anglais, Monsieur Trubshawe.

Second Frenchman: Vive Brian, wherever you are.

First Frenchman: D'accord, d'accord. Maintenant, je vous présente mon collègue, le pour célèbre, Jean-Brian Zatapathique.

(Transfers his moustache to Second Frenchman)

Second Frenchman Maintenant, le mouton ... le landing ... les wheels, bon.

(Opens diagram to show wheels on sheep's legs.)

First Frenchman: Bon, les wheels, ici.

Second Frenchman C'est formidable, n'est ce pas ... (unintelligibly indicates motor at rear of sheep)

First Frenchman: Les voyageurs ... les bagages ... ils sont ... ici!

(Triumphantly opens the rest of the diagram to reveal the whole brilliant arrangement. They run round flapping their arms and baa-ing. Cut to pepperpots in supermarket with off-screen interviewer.)

First Pepperpot: Oh yes, we get a lot of French people round here.

Second Pepperpot: Ooh Yes.

Third Pepperpot: All over yes.

Interviewer: And how do you get on with these French people?

First Pepperpot: Oh very well.

Fourth Pepperpot: So do I.

Third Pepperpot: Me too.

First Pepperpot: Oh yes I like them. I mean, they think well don't they? I mean, be fair- Pascal.

Second Pepperpot: Blaise Pascal.

Third Pepperpot: Jean-Paul Sartre.

First Pepperpot: Yes, Voltaire.

Second Pepperpot: Ooh! - Rene Descartes.

(Rene Descartes is sitting thinking. Bubbles come from his head with 'thinks '. Suddenly he looks happy. In a thought bubble appears 'I THINK THEREFORE I AM '. A large hand comes into picture with a pin and salamanders the thought bubble. It deflates and disappears. After a second, Rene disappears too.)