It seems appropriate that I share my experience of Carrot's funeral. I know
that it's not usual to write about these things but it seems that there are
so many of us who knew him via his internet persona and couldn't attend the
funeral itself that this might be of interest. Anyway, over to you whether you
read on. You can always flick the switch on me.
I had planned to go to the funeral with my boys, James and Thomas, both of whom
new Carrot via online gaming and more recently when he came to Tauranga to stay
at the "Hotel 'duh' Veale" for a week after his first operation. We also intended
to pick up another of the RNZAF Skyrats flyers (now Aces High), Raxx, on the
way to the funeral.
After an easy two hour drive to Auckland we sat at the traffic lights and called
Raxx up on the mobile and told him we would pick him up behind the white van
with the pipes on the roof rack. Raxx confirmed he had the van at his "seven
o'clock". Well he must have caught Hotdog's disease or something because he
hadn't showed after a few minutes and when I called him again it became clear
that there were two vans, another further up the street. Lol.
Despite this, we arrived early at the chapel and waited for the family to arrive.
Upon entering the chapel we were greeted by Carrot's Mum, Jill and there were
lots of tears and the expected messages of sympathy. Jill asked if I would help
out with the ceremony and I asked if I would say a few words during the service.
The answers were yes.
The real reason I wanted to have a say at the service was to try to represent
all the hundreds of online players who without hesitation or qualification,
regard Carrot as their friend. There's something "strange" about internet relationships
(and I don't mean the sleazy kind), it's just that somehow a group of people
can have a sense of camaraderie and friendship that's quite apart from their
usual day-to-day life but somehow, for me at least, it can be just as strong
and meaningful as the regular kind. Sorta different but not different if you
know what I mean.
Anyway back to the Chapel.
CT's casket was carried by members of his family and following behind was procession
of friends who carried photo's of CT, photos by CT, things he'd loved, and in
my hands, his Cougar JS. These, together with Torgen's posy of Fuschia's, were
placed on the casket to the sound of the Chemical Brothers. One of CT's favourite
pieces of music.
http://www.vuso.wwiionline.com/images/CTC1.jpg During the service there were many speeches given by family members. It was
great to hear a little more about his life. I didn't know he was a keen surfer
and windsurfer. I didn't appreciate that he was such a skilled artist and photographer.
I didn't realise he was such a creative practical joker. It was interesting
to hear about parts of his life I didn't know.
And when my turn came to speak, through misty eyes I did my best to explain
how he was loved by his internet mates. The night before, I had printed out
all the threads from the various forums to give to mama Carrot and had pulled
one or two pages to read out some of the messages. Halfway down the second page
I came across one that simply said "diddly". I managed to recover in time but
unfortunately a smile hit me. So I decided to tell the story about how one night
I had to call Carrot at home. Just as the phone was answered, I had one of those
damn memory losses and forgot his real-life name and was forced to ask for Carrot.
The phone was slammed down on my ear, not once but twice. I eventually got hold
of Carrot on his mobile and it seemed that not all his flat-mates were aware
of his flightsim antics. Later, at the reception I did meet the phone slammer.
She explained that she was going through some problems with her boyfriend and
just smiled when I asked her what was going through her mind when she heard
someone on the phone ask for Carrot.
I finished with PO McGee's poem (thanks KZ) which had my eyes leaking and my
voice shaking again. I was intercepted by a big hug from mama CT on my way back
to my seat... I'm sure this was not just for me but for all you guys too.
After the service we all went back to Carrot's flat for a tea and sausage rolls.
http://www.vuso.wwiionline.com/images/CTFlat.jpg Carrot's flat had been all done out with his academic certificates, framed photos
and messages from you guys and other stuff including an old full-sized surfboard
in a corner.
http://www.vuso.wwiionline.com/images/CTSurf.jpg Most moving for me was his PC workstation with its empty chair
and blank screen.
http://www.vuso.wwiionline.com/images/CTEmptyChair.jpg We dropped Raxx off near his work and headed home in time to beat the Auckland
grid-lock.
I'm going to miss CT. And I don't understand why he was taken so young when
he had so much to give and live for. Life can be an FN squeak.
Kiro
Thought ppl who knew him would appreciate knowing.
hardcase
