I just got back from a business trip to Orlando Fla., home of the BIG MOUSE, heat and humidity. Also known as "Little London" (England)
I had much opportunity to view the English in my home territory. Here is what I observed comparing them to the typical American tourist in Orlando:
1. Statistically, the English are just as likely to wear black socks with gym shoes/shorts as Americans.
2. Their children can be every bit as annoying if poorly disciplined.
3. Not too many marathon runners in the tourist crowd from either country. The women, whether English or American, did not resemble the modelesque women you see being so hip and cool on the streets of London or New York. The ones that did were either booth babes working the trade show; signing pics in the Penthouse and Huslter booths (a Convenience-store convention); or at the age where legal restraints come into play.
A bit off topic. This trade show is nuts. Imagine 900 exhibitors hawking everything you might find in a convenience store. Want some pizza or a White Castle Slider -- just walk up and grab some. Get some smokes at Phillip-Morris. You want Porn? Playboy or Juggs? Candy bars, pull some off the shelf in a simulated c-store booth and grab a Nestle’s Quick from the ice bucket cooler on the way out. A Guinness or a Bud, just go into one of a number of huge 40x40 booths and let one of the booth babes pour you one -- watch a game on one of the TVs if you have time. Coke, Pepsi, Sobe, ice cream, junk $1.00 store items… Hedonistic heaven for any fat American
, and undoubtedly a socially significant metaphor for something or another. Of course, I spent most of my time walking my feet into throbbing nubs in the exciting petroleum (wow, dispenser sumps!) and technology (gee, tell my about your new ATM!) section, which gave me valuable "exercise" for my lunchtime run to the “Twinkies” part of the show.
4. Their "English" was in many cases just as poor as bad Americanized English (not too many Oxford Dons in the crowd).
5. They enjoy their beer, just like Americans, and, sadly, perhaps even more.
6. They enjoy wuss sports (English football, or Soccer - Manchester United was on the tele) just like we enjoy wuss sports (baseball, or Chicago Bears Football. Actually, "enjoy" is a relative term where the Bears are concerened).
7. The native Orlando crowd in a seedy local "sports bar" I visited would have fit in just fine with a soccer hooligan rampage.
8. The English tourists had the same fishbelly white/sunburn red complexions as the Chicago crowd I was with after a few minutes in the sweltering rays.
9. Fashion and style. The English seem to shop at some euro-hypermarket equivalent of Wal-Mart, making it difficult to tell them apart from the American tourists (I'm a Target man myself, so I look down upon both
) again, not too many West Enders or Sohoites on the tour trolleys.
10. Hygiene. After a few minutes walking around in long sleeves and a tie in 90F/90% humidity, I had nothing to say about the matter.
Yes, we are all so very different.
Charon
