« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Joke....had to share :)  (Read 161 times)

Offline SaburoS

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2986
Joke....had to share :)
« on: October 14, 2002, 04:16:25 AM »
Bubba and Cooter.

Bubba and Cooter, two good old boys, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
 
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history, and logic.
 
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
 
The professor answered, "Let me give you an example.  Do you own a weed-eater?"
 
"I sure do." answered the redneck.
 
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard." replied the professor.
 
"That's real good." the redneck responded in awe.
 
The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."
 
Impressed, the redneck shouted, "GAAAAAAWL-LEEE!!"
 
"And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife."
 
Betty Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching on.)
 
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual, rather than homosexual" said the professor.
 
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of. I can't wait to take this here logic class." Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.
 
 "So what classes are ya takin?" Cooter asks.
 
 "Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.
 
 "What in tarnation is logic?" replies Cooter
 
 "Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?" replies Bubba
 
 "No." replies Cooter
 
"You're a queer then, ain't ya?"  replies Bubba
Logged
Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. ... Bertrand Russell

Offline NOD2000

  • Parolee
  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 904
Joke....had to share :)
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2002, 12:18:56 PM »
LOL thats about the logic u get from people here in Oklahoma most of the time
Logged

Offline john9001

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9453
Joke....had to share :)
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2002, 02:05:49 PM »
two cannibals are eating a clown.
first one says ..."does this taste funny to you ??"
Logged

Offline Ripsnort

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 27251
Joke....had to share :)
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2002, 02:15:39 PM »
As the bus pulled away, my friend realized she had left her purse under the seat. Later, she called the bus company and was relieved that the driver had found her bag. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded her. One man handed her the pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of her purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there."
 
As she started to put her belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
 
"Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"
 
"Ten," said Buffy.
 
So the girl bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover.
 
"Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!"
 
"Yeah!" said Buffy. "So did I."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone should be aware that there is a possibility of another outbreak of swine flu during the next few months. Please be conscious of the indications that you or members of your family may have contracted the Swine Flu Virus. The symptoms associated with this disease are:
 
1.) Sore throat.
2.) Slight headache.
3.) Moderate to high temperature.
4.) Nausea or upset stomach.
5.) Uncontrollable urge to roll around in the mud.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Logged

Offline JimBear

  • Nickel Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 677
Joke....had to share :)
« Reply #4 on: October 14, 2002, 03:35:55 PM »
Ten things you should never say to a woman during an argument

10:Don't you have some laundry to do or something?
9:  Oh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.
8:  You are just upset because you butt is beginning to spread.
7:  Wait a minute - I get it.  What time of the month is it?
6:  You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this      
     one?
5:  Sorry.  I was just picturing you naked.
4:  Whoa, time out.  Football is on.
3:  Looks like someone had a bowl of squeak flakes this morning!
2:  Is there anyway we can do this via e-mail?
1:  Who are you kidding?  We both know that thing ain't loaded.
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »