That chick is actually hilarious.
""A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's noodle . . . and I thought, Oh, my God--I'm turning into my mother!"
"I'm suing my boss for sexual harrassment ... and it's real hard, and a big strain on me ... because he hasn't done anything."
"I buy water at the liquor store across the street from where I live. So I'm walking into the door, and standing, loitering, outside the door is a man. And I walk by him to go in and he says [in a clenched, abrupt voice], 'I want popsicle!' Now, I don't want to seem conceited or anything, but [rolling her eyes, both embarrassed and proud] he was talking about me. It offended me, obviously, but more than offending me, it made me feel sorry for him. It made me sad. Because it was so obvious to me that this was a person who grew up and who was a child whose mother and father never gave him any popsicle."
"I saw my father naked once . . . But it was okay . . . Because I was soooo young . . . and sooo drunk."
"Models are fair game for comics. Why? Because they’re so pretty. Society has no pity for them. But, you know, models scream when you put them in boiling water."
