Author Topic: Breaking drug news!  (Read 108 times)

Offline StSanta

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Breaking drug news!
« on: October 28, 2002, 12:56:38 AM »
Breaking News

A software developer at Spam Associated who  was found to have traces of marijuana in his urine has been sacked, citing safety concerns.

"We just cannot have these loose guns in our industry. The potential for lost lives is too great" says Spam Associated CEO RightWing Keeppersonalfreedom. "What's worse", he continues, "is that many of these drug addicts possibly are terrorists too. I'm happy that the new anti-terror laws allow us to lock up our employees for three months in solitary confinement so we can see if they develop abnormal behavior".

A spokesman for the software developer says he is not posing a risk to society and that Spam Associated has no business inquiring into the personal life of his client

"If you had to design AOL banners and put them up on a web site, sheeeiit, you'd want a big fat J when you got home, just to make the taste in your mouth go away, dude. Man, this is, like, unfair"

The software industry has lately been shaken by a series of drug related scandals. In the last three weeks, five software developers have been caught in the now mandatory 7 day "DEATH" (Drug Enforcement Anti Terrorism Humiliation) tests.

"Its good we have DEATH - the current situation must not go on" says a state representative. "There are literally millions of people dependent on stable software. These people are clearly terrorists who mindlessly endanger other human beings (and possible RepubloCrat voters)." When asked what OS he was running he answered "Windows ME" with a shrug, utterly missing the irony.

The case is going to the Supreme Court as soon as the current administration has found a way to replace "those weak bellybutton crybaby drug loving hippies currently spreading their message of anti-American behavior".

:D

Offline Nash

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Breaking drug news!
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2002, 02:05:00 AM »
Is that your work Santa? Not bad at all. :)

Kinda unrelated, and kinda not.... but that last bit got me thinkin' about how this BBS effects the perception about the US worldwide. The whole left vs right thing... It's magnified here on these (surely this) BBS. Most folks however run straight up the middle, using common sense on an issue by issue basis, and couldn't be arsed to know who Ann Coulter is. When I lived there not too long ago, the amount of times gun control, Congress, uhm... Ted Nugent came up in conversation was zilch.