Random Stuipid Jokes.

[Thrawn]

Bored?

Here's an example.

"There was a sloth that had just been mugged by a group of snails. On the way to the police station, the officer started asking questions like they always do. The first question was what did the snails look like? The Sloth replied, "I don't remember it all happened so fast!" "

http://www.laff.tv/jokes/jokeserver/index.htm

[Ripsnort]

We just need virtual tomato's and we'd be set!

Zebediah was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, too.

But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that
Brewster's bell had not rung at all!!
 
Zeb went to investigate.
The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-
 ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next  one.

Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair.

Brewster was an overnight sensation.The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pulletsurprise.

[Thrawn]

Heheh, I like this one.



The passengers on a small plane are a quite surprised when the pilots arrive.

The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.

The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.

Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."

[Thrawn]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
We just need virtual tomato's and we'd be set!

Heheh, they're pretty bad.  

[Ripsnort]

Hehe, I liked yours..sick puppy ain't I?

Check out my edit above.

[Thrawn]

Originally posted by Ripsnort
Hehe, I liked yours..sick puppy ain't I?

Check out my edit above.

Arghhhh!!  I think I will go claw my eyes out now.

[SaburoS]

HeHe  good ones both of you!  S!