Author Topic: Ok, for those who did not get the joke...  (Read 298 times)

Offline wulf14

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« on: November 14, 2001, 06:08:00 PM »
...and I understand if you didn't...sometimes it's hard to get a joke on the internet.

I was KIDDING with Yeager. I've 'known' the guy thru WB for years.

I was taking off from a field being vulched by 10 aircraft. I knew I was dead meat. I didn't actually call 'time out'. In my book if you take off from a field with no AA defending it and 10 enemies doing the 'figure 8 spawn-point cover pattern' you should expect to die.

I don't think he's a scumbag.

Well, I do...but not for vulching me. 8)

(that was another joke)

I just saw some guys honestly trying to explain the situation to me and while that is a cool thing to do...don't waste any more time with me on that issue. 8)

Ok, back to regularly scheduled programming. 8)

Mike/wulf14

Offline SOB

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2001, 08:40:00 PM »
Yeager is a scumbag.  And so is Funked...well, he's more of a pervert really, but I guess he's a scumbag too.  

Don't worry about it, some people have a problem with reading and comprehending before they hit the reply button.   :)


SOB
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Offline Vulcan

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2001, 09:11:00 PM »
Yeager paid for sex with Fatty's mom.

Offline Kieran

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2001, 09:35:00 PM »
I'm just flat-out in awe of anyone that can get to one star so quickly! I bow in worship!
  :D

Offline Grimm

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2001, 10:25:00 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by wulf14:
...and I understand if you didn't...sometimes it's hard to get a joke on the internet.

Mike/wulf14

No problem   :D

I just objected to the use of disguised langage, it was over the top IMHO.  Just too in your face.  As we all know there are younger folks flying.  It was all MFs such.

I knew you wear joking around, but the subject line could have been tamer.

OK.. Now that I have your attention, Can we stop and talk about the lord for a while.

:: Ducks and Runs::   ;) Muhahahahhahaa

[ 11-14-2001: Message edited by: Grimm ]

Offline Yeager

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2001, 12:44:00 AM »
LOL wulf!

Jeezus, I was so pumped at being able to kill ANYTHING last night that I just plain didnt see your pleas for mercy.

Few things can I do well but when the ack is dead at a ragged field and no NMY is above, the vulch is my specific specialty  :)

Drop me a line via private email and well get the details for that book signing squared off great!

Cheers!

<S>

 

Yeager
"If someone flips you the bird and you don't know it, does it still count?" - SLIMpkns

Offline wulf14

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2001, 02:59:00 AM »
Yeager stop with the phoney humble act you Pee Five One momma's boy. Admit it...you saw a guy with 'wulf' or something to that effect in his handle and your Fw hatred flared, overwhelming any last semblance of humanity which may have been hiding out in your tiny Merlin-powered brain. For those who want to know the truth, and have seen the movies 'Road Trip' and 'Blade Runner', read on.

===

Yeager levels his wings in a shallow dive. Altitude ~1500', speed 350 MPH IAS. Below him, a La-7 appears in a hangar at A43. All AAA at A43 has been disabled for roughly the past 2,125,343 years.

The range counts down. At a convergance+200 he starts firing, because he has a 350 MPH speed advantage over the target (Yes, he is smart, in that very primitive animalistic cunning type way that P-51 drivers are...they know when to run, and when to stay and shoot at targets on the runway).

.50 MG rounds tear thru the URPF (United Rook Peacekeeping Force) La-7, armed only with cameras to record enemy atrocities (vulching) and 2 100 kg. baby milk cannisters (for the orphans of the constant war in the MA). It is unknown if 'wulf14', that selfless peacekeeper pilot forever in the service of truth, beauty, and humanity dies from horrid .5 inch puncture wounds or is vaporized when his reconnaisance aircraft explodes.

As he flies thru the expanding cloud of gas that was once 'wulf14', Yeager sees the kill message in his text buffer, and this is when the trouble begins.

On the surface...above the subconcious...there is no reaction from Yeager. But deep below the surface, genetic memories, long conditioned flight or vulch instincts, other baggage from WB begins to churn like some murky soup in the dank swamp that is Yeager's mind.

"wulf14"...the simplest of handles...totally harmless...yes?

"wulf". "Hmmmm, I wonder if that's for Focke Wulf?" thinks Yeager as he makes a shallow climbing 180 degree turn to line up on the enemy airfield...again.

"Hmmmm, I wonder". Deep in his brain, searing images begin to surface. He's back in WB, trying to clear a killing machine JG 14 fighter off one of his wingmen. His wingman conducts hard evasives...which the JG 14 fighter ignores. With each scissor, the range between his wingman and the pursuing Fw 190 lessens, but Yeager isn't closing any range himself. "Come on! Break and pull hard! Make him slow down!" A quick check of his high 6 reveals a reality that he always knew existed...another Fw 190 is boring in on his high 6, at a great rate of closure. As he swings his head back around to his gunsight, his wingman explodes in a hail of MG 151/20 fire. He kept scissoring along a nice, straight, predictable axis in the horizontal, and as he crossed the guns of the Fw 190A-8 at about 200 meters, he flew into a wall of 2cm shells. The text, burned into the base levels of his brain, appears in his vision as he lines up on A43, in Aces High.

"Kill of some P-51 awarded to =drex= of JG 14".

Back to the past. A million virtual years ago, in the WB MA, in some desparate squadron duel or some hard fought historical scenario...he can't recall which.

No use in pursuing =drex=, not with that Fw 190D-9 closing in on him at over 100 meters a second. He sees the Fw 190A-8 make a shallow dive down to the right. A quick look back...the Fw 190D-9 is 'cheating right'...oh no...Yeager is no fool. A quick feint to the right and a hard break past the vertical to the left. Past the vertical...he won't make the mistake his wingman did and make the Fw 190D-9 only adjust lead in 1 axis on the deflection shot he knows is coming. His screen fades to black as he lurches into a steep diving left hand break turn. As his vision returns, he checks his 6, now traveling at over 400 MPH IAS just a few feet above the water.

And there...at his 7:30...at 250 meters...pointing 30 degrees ahead of him...wings level...is...the...Fw 190D-9.

He's firing.

How did he line that shot up?

Engine destroyed flaps damaged pilot armor destroyedcenterfueltankhitlef taeileronhitleftwingdestroyed

"Kill of yeager awared to wulfie of JG 14".

Back to AH.

That La-7. 'wulf14?'. "Didn't wulfie used to be called wulf in WB?". One of the many twisted personalities that inhabit Yeager's tiny mind begins to speak up...

(watch the first 10 minutes of 'Blade Runner')

"Yeager...you see the wulfie...stationary on the runway...his propeller is not turning...he's in your gunsight...but you're not shooting him. Why is that?"

Yeager: "What do you mean I'm not shooting him?"

Yeager #7: "I mean you're not shooting him. Want to tell me why that is? Are you afraid of him even when he's on the ground?"

Yeager's eyes tremble in their sockets. He slides the P-51D onto another La-7...which has just spawned in the exact same place at A43.

Yeager #7 (fading voice): "...why is that?"

Yeager: "It's not right. It's a cheap kill. It's not sportsmanlike. I can shoot him down in fair fight. I can. I CAN. I CANICANICAN!"

Another personality speaks up. One of the several hundred that plague the unstable brain of any and all P-51 drivers.

(Watch snake feeding scene in 'Road Trip')

Yeager #42: "Yes, you could kill him fair and square. But he is the one on the ground. He is the bottom of the MA food chain. Destroying him is maintaining the rythm of life as it exists in the MA. A kill is a kill."

Yeager: "No, a kill is not a kill. Some kills are easier than others. I don't have to shoot him on the runway. I don't I Don't I DON'TIDON'T NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO".

Yeager #7: "I mean, you're not shooting him. Why is that?"

Yeager #42: "You MUST shoot him. You have no choice. It is in your genes. You must kill the Jagermeister whenever possible. This is the only way to keep the P-51 K/D ratio from dropping below 1:50 vs. JG 14 personnel. Follow your insticts. Obey them. Unleash the fury that is the nature of the MA. UNLEASH THE FURY YEAGER!

(a single guitar note sounds)

"UNLEASH THE FURY!"

The pent up frustration of witnessing a hundred P-51s die at the hands of a JG 14 aircraft overwhelms him. The pipper slides onto the La-7. A hail of .50 MG fire tears into another La-7.

"You shot down wulf14."

"You shot down wulf14."

"You shot down wulf14."

Guns empty, Yeager banks towards home. He feels spent. Maybe the Fw 190 nightmares won't come tonight. Maybe he can get some sleep.

Until tomorrow at least.

Offline straffo

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2001, 06:30:00 AM »
puntsky !
good one wulf!
ROTFLMAO  :)

Offline DA98

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2001, 02:12:00 PM »
Well done wulf... now I have to buy a new keyboard... I hate you.
 :p

[ 11-15-2001: Message edited by: DA98 ]

Offline Hangtime

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2001, 04:23:00 PM »
Quote
Another personality speaks up. One of the several hundred that plague the unstable brain of any and all P-51 drivers.  

Hmmmmm... how long has this guy been in my rumble seat?
The price of Freedom is the willingness to do sudden battle, anywhere, any time and with utter recklessness...

...at home, or abroad.

Offline Yeager

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Ok, for those who did not get the joke...
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2001, 06:10:00 PM »
OH    MY    GOD!  JG14!!!  Nooooo!!!

Ive got to admit, everytime I see a wulf I do indeed think back instictively to all those disembowelments suffered at the hands of the black crosses on the wings of JG14.

But I digress.  Our most recent encounters did bubble up one thought to this puny brain:

"That guys a dumbshit! keeps timing his spawns perfectly for my reversals"

LOL,

As you were!

Yeager  :)

 
"If someone flips you the bird and you don't know it, does it still count?" - SLIMpkns