Governmental Dictionary
The terms used as they work through their problems are right out of Alice in Wonderland. After spending themselves into a hole, politicians are trying to make us feel sorry for them as the devise ways to climb out with anything but real cuts.
Cuts, n Reductions not in dollars spent but in the rate at which spending are allowed to increase. The University of California budget up 67% in eight years is said to face “extraordinary budget cuts,” though it’s scheduled for a 4.9% increase.
Draconian, adj. any reduction in spending beyond “cuts” as defended above. Derived from the Greek darcos, a fire-breathing dragon that preyed on public employees in ancient Athens.
Massive, adj. Favorite description for any reduction in taxes. Rarely used to describe increases in spending, and then only in the case of higher defence outlays sought by Republicans.
Benefits, n. Money the government doesn’t take from you. Planned reductions in federal income-tax rates said to be a “benefit” to the “rich” people who pay taxes. Not to be confused with actual government programs, which are “needed services”
Layoffs, n. the acts of letting workers go, especially when there isn’t money to pay them. Now obsolete in government parlance due to the deference that politicians pay to public employee unions.
Wrong, adj. Pejorative for those who actually pay taxes-as in the “wrong people” that Sen. Tom Daschale contents will benefit from tax-rate cuts included in the president’s economics growth plan.
Haves, n. see “wrong” above. Includes the 10% of taxpayers with incomes of more than $92,000 (both individual and combined) whom Daschle considers “rich” enough to shoulder 67% of the federal tax burden.
Have-nots, n. opposite of the “haves.” Citizens who pay little or no federal income tax but get the same services. Referring to the “have-nots” as “do-nots”, “can-nots” or “will-nots” is considered impolite.
Penny, n. Slang for the percentage-point increase in tax rate. Gov. Gray Davis wants to add a “penny” to California’s sales tax by bumping the rate to 8.25% from 7.25%. That’s not a penny, or even a percent. It’s an increase of 13.8%.
Politically unthinkable, adj. Cuts politicians say you’d never accept. A cut in California’s prison budget would be “politically unthinkable, “ since it would put felons back on the street. What’s unthinkable, however, is backing prison guards unions that’s gave the governor $3.4 million and has gotten pay hikes totaling 37%.
