Enjoy:D
How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
Nobody knows, they have never tried it.
NOGA VILLALON
The French have just ordered a new national flag.
It’s a white cross on a white background.
Mr CASSINELLI
Manchester
Why did the French plant trees on the Champs Elysées?
So the Germans could march in the shade.
PAUL MORAN
Gateshead, Tyne & Wear
Where do you find 60million French jokes?
In France.
PAUL JEFFREY
Birmingham
What’s the difference between a Wonderbra and the French World Cup squad?
A Wonderbra has decent support — and a cup.
RODDY CLARK
Newcastle upon Tyne
What is the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
You can make soldiers out of toast.
MIKEAL GRIMES
Define confusion.
Father’s Day in Paris.
RUSSELL SAXTON
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philippe Flop
TERRY SEVERN
Tilbury, Essex
What is the first thing you are taught when joining the French army?
To say “I surrender” in German.
DAN SHARPE
Why was Jesus not born in France?
Because they couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.
CHRIS DOOLEY
Hants
A British, American and French soldier were offered a wish each by a genie after rubbing a lamp they found while training in the desert.
The British soldier said: “I want to be in the Bahamas with a Page 3 girl.” The American said: “I want to be in Hawaii with a hula dancer and a crate of beer.”
After they were whisked off, the French soldier thought for a moment and said: “I wish the Brit and American were here to help me decide.”
MAUREEN GRAY
Jacques Chirac walked into a bar with a parrot on his head and the landlord said: “How did that happen?”
The parrot said: “It all started as a little pimple on my bottom.”
JOHN HARBIDGE
Ilkley, West Yorks
Why don’t the French like the fireworks at Disneyland Paris?
Because every time they go off, people start trying to surrender.
ROSS CHIPPERFIELD
Chelmsford, Essex
Why do the French eat snails?
It gives them speedier reactions.
JAMES JOHNSON
Plymouth
When East and West Germany got back together there were talks to relocate the capital city . . .
. . . back to Paris.
BOB USREY
What’s the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf?
The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better.
CHRIS BIGGS
In a rare show of bravery, a French soldier answered an order from his commanding officer and ran out on to the field of battle – in the line of fire – to retrieve a despatch case from a dead soldier and dashed back to his HQ.
The officer said: “I’m recommending you for a medal for risking your life to save the details of the locations of our secret warehouses.”
“Warehouses?” said the soldier. “Sacré bleu! I thought you said potatohouses.”
PETER BALL
Nottingham
