Just attacked by an anti-war GOOSE!

[Vermillion]

My brother, when he was a kid about 7 or 8, had a similar encounter with low flying Pelican.  That damn bird had a 6 foot wingspan EASY.  I thought the thing was gonna kill him.

[Rasker]

I've seen barnyard geese back down a German shepherd, they just spread their wings and charged, looked a lot bigger that way.

[BEVO]

Originally posted by ra
Was it a Canda goose?

Hell no, a Canadian goose would be too much of a little squeak to attack.

[ra]

Actually, they are pretty fediddlein vicious.

[loser]

i worked at a golf course and we had to chase the geese and their goslings off the greens cause they shat everywhere.

let me tell you, geese are tough as all hell.  especially with their goslings around.  i bet a few funny movies could have been made of me running  away from a goose getting my bellybutton nipped at.

it is a wonder you survived

[Saurdaukar]

UPDATE!!!

Ok, I made it home... the parking lot was encounter number two... I swear the bastard was waiting for me.

After the mocking chants of "Careful out there!" from the local female population, I decided it was time to face my fear...

I walked outside sheepishly, wishing I was armed... Ive been threatened by humans and other life forms before... but usually because I deserved it...

This was something different.  Something... evil.  I had not done anything to deserve this premediated attack.  

Taking the back door out, the closest way to the car, I turned the corner in antisipation...

And there he was... or what it she?  Im not sure, but I do know there were TWO of them!  Perhaps the initial perp had brought along his double in an attempt to confuse me into thinking I could spot the attacker.

As soon as I began walking to my car at a rather brisk pace, the heads of both birds of prey turned to follow my movement.. now 100 yards away... with the car in the middle.

It was like a western, high-noon show down.  I stop... the geese stop.  They may have been communicating telepathicaly to coordinate their assault... I couldnt be sure...

I felt the car keys at my hip... warm, sweaty steel... beging to be used... and prepared to make my move...

HONK HONK!!  

"JESUS CHRIST!!!!"  There are MORE OF THEM!!  They've suckered me into a pincer attack!! ...obviously these geese had seen Jurrasic Park and had witnessed the raptor's tactics - I was doomed!

But alas... it was a car horn... I was in the way.

So I step aside and wave... conscience not to take my attention off of my adversaries completely.

As the car passes and drives off... it is completely ignored by the beaked beasts.  I renew my courage and prepare to step forward into whatever fate has in store for me.

The geese follow suit... matching my every move... as if they knew which car was mine... I quicken my pace... although not drasticly as Im sure my presence in the parking lot was enough to have the employee's from the entire eastern side of the building pressing their noses against the glass in anticipation of blood... I did not want to look like a fool... a strapping young man running from a silly goose.

I continue my advance... as do the geese.  Now 75 yards apart, and still, with the car inbetween us.

50 yards...

40 yards...

30 yards...

Twenty-five yards... its on... the leftmost goose flips the switch and goes hot.  I proceed to quicken my pace to exceed that of this black and white blur intent on demonstrating his supremency in the parking lot.

I prepare to make evasive manuvers...

Im in.

The goose walks faster... I walk faster...

Suddenly the goose opens its jaws of death and lets loose a roar, signaling his determination to feed his children tonight... and good eating this human will be.

The hissing gets louder, the pace is quickened, my heart is pumping, and his girlfreind watches without interest... certain of the victory before the fight.

I leap toward the drivers side of the car, being sure to conserve my E, and hit the unlock button on the remote.  The hazard lights blink once... twice... as if taunting me.  The car is unlocked.

I make a dive for the handle... the predator is almost upon me and Im sure this is the end.  Visions of eye patches and 6 inch scars flash before my eyes... I find myself wishing I had written a letter home and given it to my secretary... but alas... it is a shambles... the beast is close... I can feel him breathing... the hate radiates from his body and signals my demise.  I am finished.

But no...

My hand somehow finds the door handle through this fog of war... this cloud that hangs over me during my moment of truth...

I give a yank... firm, decisive, and with conviction.

I open the door, slide in, and shut the impenitrable wall of steel behind me... the goose is inches behind... his wings beat upon the window glass, thumping like some sick, twisted rendition of a scene from an Edgar Allen Poe story.

I have made it.  I am safe.  I live to fight another day.

The goose backs away from the steel shield surrounding me and opens his mouth, hissing in angar... his children will not eat tonight.

I engage reverse and back out of my space... into first gear and proceed to pull ahead out of the parking lot.  

As a final act of defiance, the goose follows the car, obviously aware of its contents, and lets loose a roar in frustration... "do not come back" he seems to say.

But I will... on Monday... to fight again.

I have tasted the flames of hell, and have survived.

Bottom of the first... Mazz 1... Goose 1.

[Dowding]

What a vivid imagination you have.

If I had the inclination to hide in some bushes waiting for the great Sawdaukar to pass by, I'd probably avoid that hassle and just curl one out on the hood of your car. Much more satisfying, I should think.

Good day.

[Saurdaukar]

Originally posted by Dowding

If I had the inclination to hide in some bushes waiting for the great Sawdaukar to pass by, I'd probably avoid that hassle and just curl one out on the hood of your car. Much more satisfying, I should think.
 

Youre late Duwding, I poked at you hours ago - besides - we determined that Apache is responsible for sending the killer goose.

In any event... why would you publicly defecate on someones car?  Thats gross, man... didnt your father tell you that those fun frat games you played at university arent "cool" in the world outside of campus?  

Silly boy.  

[Dowding]

That's a matter of opinion based on whether your doing the giving or receiving.

Besides, I have some stories from where I work now that beat anything I did at uni.

[Saurdaukar]

Originally posted by Dowding
That's a matter of opinion based on whether your doing the giving or receiving.

Besides, I have some stories from where I work now that beat anything I did at uni.

I'd tell your parents now.  Granted they'll be shocked when you inform them of your sexual orientation... but at least youll be able to sleep at night.  

[BGBMAW]

lolo

Shock and Awe...


lolol

Mazz..u funny guy


and airhead.. Piss Olf...and while im here..**** You:D

Love
BiGB
xoxo

[Dowding]

Very funny.

[Saurdaukar]

Originally posted by Dowding
Very funny.

The story may be humorous... but if I saw some lad with his pants around his ankles, making constipated faces, ****ting on someones car, Id be in stiches.  LOL  

[Dowding]

Unless it was your car, and the protagonist in question had been eating nothing but curry and drinking guiness for a week.

I'm guessing that would dull the paintwork a little.

And that's all I have to say about excrement.

[Saurdaukar]

Originally posted by Dowding
Unless it was your car, and the protagonist in question had been eating nothing but curry and drinking guiness for a week.

I'm guessing that would dull the paintwork a little.

And that's all I have to say about excrement.

LOL - granted... but Im still wondering why yours "curls."