New Year's Day is Wednesday, 1 January, 2003: Manditory K-Mart shopping day. Kicking a protester in the groin optional.
Birthday of Martin Luther King is Monday, 20 January, 2003: Stay home and take care of athlete's foot fungus. If no AFF, then watch satellite TV.
National Freedom Day (signing of 13th Am.; pres. procl) is Saturday, 1 February, 2003: Kick a war protester in the groin.
Groundhog Day is Sunday, 2 February, 2003: Blitch? Blitch, you down there?
Lincoln's Birthday is Wednesday, 12 February, 2003: Avoid K-Mart. Go to Wal-mart.
Valentine's Day is Friday, 14 February, 2003: Visit Chicago. Take a "tommy-gun" just in case.
Washington's Birthday (Observed) is Monday, 17 February, 2003: Kegger! Drink to George. Speak Texan.
Washington's Birthday is Saturday, 22 February, 2003: Having forgatten about the previous kegger ... have another.
St. Patrick's Day is Monday, 17 March, 2003: Ahhh good .... another excuse to drink. Only this time everything (including the complexion of many) is green.
April Fool's Day is Tuesday, 1 April, 2003: Send Blitch a card.
Daylight Saving Time begins Sunday, 6 April, 2003: Also known as "National late an hour to work Monday - forgot the time change day".
Federal Income Taxes are due Tuesday, 15 April, 2003: National panic day.
Easter is Sunday, 20 April, 2003: Go to church. Later kick a protester in the eggs.
Earth Day is Tuesday, 22 April, 2003: Chop down a tree and eat tunafish sandwiches around the campfire.
Administrative Professionals' Day is Wednesday, 23 April, 2003: Yeah, I didn't know about this one either. I think it replaced Secretary's Day. I bet that pissed `em off.
Arbor Day in many locations is Friday, 25 April, 2003, but please see The List of Arbor Dates for States: Plant a weed.
Mothers' Day is Sunday, 11 May, 2003: Call yer mom.
Armed Forces Day is Saturday, 17 May, 2003: Fly the flag. Invade something and piss off Germany because it makes them jealous.
Memorial Day is Monday, 26 May, 2003: Remember those who died for "Germoney's" freedom.
Flag Day is Saturday, 14 June, 2003: Fly the flag. Tell someone French to kiss yer arse.
Fathers' Day is Sunday, 15 June, 2003: aka national "Oh look, another tie day".
Canada Day is Tuesday, 1 July, 2003: WGAF
United States of America Independence Day is Friday, 4 July, 2003: We the people of the United States of America say "kiss our arse".
Parents' Day is Sunday, 27 July, 2003: Mainly ignored.
Labor Day is Monday, 1 September, 2003: Picnic, Bar-B-Que, squeak about no pay raise this year.
Grandparents Day is Sunday, 7 September, 2003: Send kids to spend day with them as a "reward".
Citizenship Day is Wednesday, 17 September, 2003: Kick a protester in the groin.
Columbus Day (Traditional) is Sunday, 12 October, 2003: Speak with an Italian accent all day.
Columbus Day (Observed) is Monday, 13 October, 2003: Speak with a Spanish accent all day.
United Nations Day is Friday, 24 October, 2003: A day of mirth.
Daylight Saving Time ends Sunday, 26 October, 2003: aka national "Stay up late and still manage to oversleep on Monday in spite of the extra hour gained. "I messed up setting the clock."
Halloween is Friday, 31 October, 2003: Set up booby traps for those damned kids with the eggs and toilet paper.
Election Day is Tuesday, 4 November, 2003: Vote and sweety day.
Veterans' Day is Tuesday, 11 November, 2003: Fly the flag. Kick a protester in the balls. Send Blitch a sympathy card.
Thanksgiving Day is Thursday, 27 November, 2003: mmmmm Turkey. Watch the game. Mmmmm dressing. Watch the game. Mmmmm .... pun-kin pie. Watch the game ..... etc.
Bill of Rights Day is Monday, 15 December, 2003: Kick a leftie in the groin.
Christmas Day is Thursday, 25 December, 2003: Happy birthday Jesus. Kick a protester in the groin and say "Hallelujah".
