Best Put Downs?????

[AWMac]

BGB, How'd ya get fired?
 and was the broken hand the result of a tragic masturbation accident?  





sorry to hear this Bud.

[Swag Abroad]

Whenever someone calls me a "p*ssy",  I always relpy, "Hey, you are what you eat, dickhead!"



I apoligize in advance for those sensitive eyes and morals I may have damaged with my typed statement, so sorry.

[Modas]

This one has always been my favorite...

      Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
      Woman: But would you stay there?
      Man:  Probably, 'cause you seem like the kind of chick that is
   impossible to shake once you smack the goods to her.

[Dune]

I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of ****.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ahhh...I see the ****-up fairy has visited us again...
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?
This is a mean, ****ing cruel world & I want my nappy & medication right now!
Earth is full. Go home.
You look like ****. Is that the style now?
Mommy, I wanna grow up to be a neurotic squeak just like you.
Okay, okay, I take it back! Un**** you!
Yo mama's so fat, her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
And just how may I **** you over today?
Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
You! Off my planet!!
Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
Well, aren't we just a ray of ****ing sunshine?
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Chaos, panic, & disorder---my work here is done.
And which dwarf are you?
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
Gene Police!!! Get out of the pool!!
100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.
The proctologist called, they found your head.

[maddog]

The Best!

Disreali and Gladstone where arguing in the house of commons.. Gladstone yelled at Dis..

Your either going to die on the gallows or of a foul Disease.

Disreali responded...

That depends whether I embrace your mistress or your principles.

[maddog]

Another...... about golf.... heard this said to someone who just hit tee shot..


Your golf game is like masterbation...

It may be fun for you but its disgusting for the rest of us to watch.

[pugg666]

why don't you go outside and play hide and go shreck yourself

[Syzygyone]

Hey, why don't you go play in the street!

[Maverick]

Go take your tricycle and ride it on the freeway.

You wouldn't know a cogent thought if it rose up and hit you.

You prove Darwin only had half the theory, you are de evolving.

Did you say something or was that the termites in your head belching?

For the current times and the non PC folks.

If you were a General even the French wouldn't surrender to you!

[Gman]

Sir Winston Churchill:

Some Women in the UK to Winst:  "If I was your wife I'd poison your tea"

Winston:  "If you were my wife I'd drink it".



ShizOWNED.

[midnight Target]

Lady Astor: "Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee."
Winston: "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it."
This exchange is sometimes attributed to Winston's good friend F.E. Smith, but in Consuelo Vanderbilt Balsan's The Glitter and the Gold she writes that the exchange occurred at Blenheim when her son was host. See also the American edition of Martin Gilbert's In Search of Churchill (not in the British edition). In Nancy: The Life of Lady Astor, Christopher Sykes confirms Consuelo Balsan's account. "It sounds like an invention but is well authenticated. [Churchill] and the Astors were staying with Churchill's cousin, the Duke of Marlborough, at Blenheim Palace. Nancy and Churchill argued ferociously throughout the weekend."

[Dawggus]

Originally posted by Syzygyone
Hey, why don't you go play in the street!

Or its companion "Go chase some headlights".

Cya Up!

[Thorns]

Oh.........yo girlfriend is so pretty!  She's a cadillac WOMAN!

Heat in the Winter......and Shade in the Summer!


Thorns

[jamusta]

Insult: "You Suck!!!"
Reply: " Oh Yeah, You Swallow!!!"

Yo momma jokes...

Yo momma so fat she irons her clothes on the driveway..

Yo momma so fat when she falls down she's still standing..

Yo momma so fat I bought her a Malcom X t shirt and helicopters started landing on her back..

Yo mommas lips so big she can french kiss a moose..

Yo momma so fat her jeans have strech marks..

[Raubvogel]

If I wanted any lip from you I'd rattle my zipper.